by MIA FREEDMAN
“Tom Ford says women get ugly at 32.” This was the link bait that sent me to this story. Supermodel Giselle Bundchen is about to turn 32. Designer Tom Ford is one of the most influential people in the fashion world. He’s worried that Giselle is about to start “losing her looks”.
Ready to be outraged? Not so fast.
You see, the fashion designer interviewed Gisele’s professional footballer husband – Tom Brady – for the fall 2012 issue of VMan magazine. Brady and Ford were discussing the ins and outs of the modelling industry with Ford, telling him: “I’m telling you, she makes it [modeling] look easy. Because it’s not easy, oh my god it’s not easy.”
Ford took it one step further to discuss the dark side of Gisele’s job. He said:
“This sounds negative, but when you’re considered one of the most beautiful women in the world, it’s very, very hard when that starts to slip away. It’s hard to feel good about yourself when people react to you differently.
And, Gisele, I hope you’re not reading this, because it’s going to sound so negative but I know through some of my best friends who are really famous actresses — I’m not going to mention their names — who were at one point considered to be among the most beautiful women in the world at different periods of time, and how hard it is for them emotionally. So I hope Gisele is prepared for that, because it’s so difficult.”
I think that’s an incredibly insightful and gently phrased thing to say. Others, not so much. Cue: easy snark.
This from Jezebel:
Tom FordTom Ford just hopes Gisele is prepared….for when she’s old and decrepit and washed-up and ugly and nobody remembers her name — which, given Gisele just turned 32, will probably happen any minute now. Because Tom Ford, king of Restylane and crown prince of Botox, has such a healthy relationship with aging. Weirdly, the designer shared this advice with Tom Brady. (What do you even say to that? ‘Um, thanks Tom, I’ll sure tell my wife to worry a little more about losing her looks’?) No joke, aging is kind of hard when you’re in an industry that fetishizes youth and discards people seemingly at whim, but the outcomes are hardly as grim as Ford makes out. We imagine Isabella Rossellini wastes very little of her time thinking about how she looked when she was younger, for example.
Sorry, but bollocks. To suggest Isabella Rossellini is unaffected by the aging process? I think that’s not only disengenuous but unhelpful. We all live in a society that tells us that the way a woman looks is important. This is challenging enough for any girl or woman, let alone the women who are universally acclaimed for their beauty. Let alone the women whose entire careers are due to the way they look. Women like Giselle and some of the other women to whom Ford refers.
OF COURSE it’s going to be challenging for those women as their beauty changes. Especially when everywhere you look, we are bombarded with the singular message: hot equals young. Beautiful equals young. Sexually attractive equals young.
I often think about how hard it must be (in a very first world way) for models and actresses and ‘sex symbols’ as they grow older. We have shamefully few examples around us of women being ‘allowed’ to age gracefully and the way older women are portrayed in the media is rarely complimentary. Our definition of ‘sexy’ and ‘beautiful’ remain pitifully narrow.
So many women talk about becoming ‘invisible’ as they age. And I think Tom Ford’s point was valid and respectfully made. In stark contrast to most other designers (male and female), he has been able to celebrate women of different ages in his work. Take a look at this fantastic video of his debut collection when he launched his Tom Ford collection:
Earlier this week, Stylelist rounded up their favourite ever quotes about ageing gracefully. They got everyone from Helen Gurley Brown to Taylor Swift. Take a look:
Top Comments
I have thought about this post for a while…and I still can’t faithfully articulate my thoughts into a response/comment…but, I’m going to have a crack at it anyway!
Irrespective of any arbitrary, numeric cut off point, the reality is that we all age and society is obsessed with youthfulness (moreover, we are biologically wired to be attracted to young looks because it indicates fertility blah-de-blah…).
So I actually think there is a valid point here...somewhere. These comments may sound harsh and imprudent, but I can appreciate the sentiment behind them.
For the past year I have been starting to feel 'old' physically and have noticed changes in my appearance due to the ageing process. I wish I could say I have been unaffected by it (after all, I'm no supermodel and my livelihood does not rely solely on my looks); yet every time I look in the mirror I am reminded of my rapidly increasing age and it causes me too much self-reflection. I don’t place all of my self-worth on my looks, but (like most of us, I’m sure) I often feel very insecure about myself and changes in my appearance compound those feelings (vanity gets the better of me!).
So yes, I do believe it can be emotionally challenging at that random point in time where it seems we have suddenly morphed from exuberant youth into old and a little worn...for many of us, and not just those whose current existence centres on how they look.
I am by NO means saying that women above the age of 32 (or whenever) can no longer look young or be visually attractive (I believe many people actually appear more attractive because they grow in confidence, or even in health, as they mature). But, it would be foolish to think that we are not going to be emotionally affected (in some way) by any major physical changes we experience as we age.
I think I know where he's coming from, and we need to remember he has spoken about women who need to look good as a living.
Personally, I think people get better looking as they age. The years add character to their faces and the experiences they've had make them more interesting to talk to.
Then again, they can be themselves and not a canvas for someone else to sell something with.
I'll admit to having a perve on male models, actors etc but in real life, I'm always attracted to the smart guys who have had interesting experiences.