I have been using my baby as an excuse not to get married. I’ve been thinking it’s just too hard to plan a wedding with a baby, but I spoke to someone this week who has sold me the idea.
Kaysha Drape has a baby of similar age to mine, she has a busy life and she managed a beautiful wedding with her baby at the heart of it.
After researching for a year, the 24-year-old married Heath Drape in March in a ceremony where even the rain didn’t dampen her spirits.
Despite having to move the wedding indoors, Kaysha and her 14-month-old daughter, Kaydence, walked down the isle.
Well, the toddler made it halfway. Then the flower girl was scooped up by a bridesmaid.
“She stood around for a little bit then she walked and sat on my train,” said Kaysha.
Kaydence at the alter . Image courtesy Kaysha Drape and Lost in Love Photography.
Kaydence was familiar with the train – she had been to all the fittings and was used to playing with it.
“I took her to all my dress fittings – everything. Just making her a part of it makes it easier.”
But involving your own children in a wedding ceremony doesn’t always go to plan. A groom friend of mine had to deal with a tantrum mid-ceremony because his child wanted to sit next to her best friend. The three-year-old didn’t want to be with her mother and father who were getting married at the front of the room.
My baby has also stolen the show at a ceremony - and it doesn't matter where you move a screaming baby in a church, it echos.
However Kaysha’s daughter was just a dream baby on her big day. “She was really good. I didn’t expect her to be that well behaved,” said Kaysha.
The bride, groom and flower girl. Image courtesy Kaysha Drape and Lost in Love Photography.
The bride and groom had a child-friendly wedding with their daughter at the heart of the proceedings.
“We got to be married and then read our vows to our daughter. That was probably the best part.”
“Our celebrant mentioned it to us and I didn’t know you were allowed to do anything like that. I thought - 'I would love to do that'.”
“My husband was so excited to have her involved, especially with reading the vows. That was the most special part of the day.”
So after the ceremony, the toddler hit the dance floor.
“The only time she got a bit upset was towards the end of the night ,”she said.
Kaysha and Kaydence. Image courtesy Kaysha Drape and Lost in Love Photography.
So 14-month-old Kaydence survived the day with a short nap and a lot of attention. Then the happy couple left for their honeymoon, that night.
The pair left the baby with her grandmother and aunt for six days - it was the longest time Kaysha had been away from her daughter.
“It was really hard leaving Kaydence but I did it. We did a lot of Facetime. When we got home I don’t think she was too impressed that we had left her.”
Kaysha poured over photos of her daughter on holiday and wanted to go home.
“You get torn. I wanted to enjoy it because we are never going to have a honeymoon again but I just missed her so much. And I just wanted to squeeze her.”
So that’s what I want – the dream wedding with a dream well-behaved baby and then a six day break. I’ve been waiting for an imaginary stage where my child can fit into a perfect public day.
But the truth is, I have had perfect days with my baby. Days where he stretches my heart out to a new level.
Just like a toddler walking all over your dress on your big day. I am sure my baby boy will do something equally special.