sex

'I had a threesome with my best friend and her fiance. Then she and I began an affair.'

We certainly never planned to have a threesome.

My best friend, Kathryn, her fiancé, Joe, and I had spent the late afternoon drinking in a pub garden before heading back to mine for a takeaway dinner and a movie.

I thought the evening was winding down, that they’d soon be ordering an Uber and I’d be stashing leftover slices of pizza in the fridge for a cold, hangover breakfast the next morning.

But then I made a joke about kissing my best friend.

Best friends: translated. Post continues below. 

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I’d always thought Kathryn was beautiful and been very vocal about it, telling her – and anyone who’d listen – that she was my girl crush. It was mostly just banter. But that night as I sat close beside her on the couch and joked about wanting to kiss her, Joe said, ‘go on, then’ and Kathryn looked at me expectantly.

I’d had just the right amount of wine. I felt brave, but wasn’t sloppy. I leaned forward and kissed her softly on the lips.

I thought that would be it. A quick kiss – a tipsy moment of bravado that might make Joe want to get her home and into bed fast.

But Kathryn leaned into it, wrapping her arms around me, one of her hands getting lost in my hair.

And then suddenly Joe was on his knees in front of her, pulling her top up over her head, slipping off her bra.

Silently, we moved to the bedroom.

Joe watched as Kathryn and I kissed, touched, went down on each other. I’ve never seen a facial expression quite like the one he had when Kathryn straddled me, her breasts falling in my face.

Then Joe moved his body towards mine, looked to his fiancee for some sort of green light. She nodded, I nodded. Then he was inside me.

It was awkward the next time we all saw each other. Sober, possibly regretful? I wasn’t. But I couldn’t help but wonder what their conversation had been like when they’d left my apartment that night. Had they f*cked again when they got home? I liked to think they had.

We got over the awkwardness quickly. The threesome was never mentioned explicitly but I felt weirdly closer to both of them, especially Kathryn. Even though she was my best friend we’d never really talked much about sex before. She wasn’t a prude (obviously) but she’d been with Joe for 10 years. She had never been my go-to when I wanted to talk about the latest hot one night stand I’d had or how I was f*cking my neighbour sometimes.

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The next time the three of us got drunk together (which was only a couple of weeks later – we were in our early twenties and party people) nothing happened. At least, not another threesome.

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Later in the night, Joe went to bed, and Kathryn set up a sofa bed for me in the lounge. Instead of joining her husband in the bedroom, she snuggled up with me as we finished our wine. When I closed my eyes to sleep, she didn’t leave. She reached for my hand under the covers and slowly pulled it towards her body. Then she pulled me towards her and we were kissing again.

Without Joe watching us, it wasn’t about a sexy performance. It was about us – and I realised in that moment how much I wanted her and how the threesome had been nothing more than a way for me to have her.

We had sex for hours that night. The next morning, Joe thought nothing of finding us passed out on the sofa bed together. He even brought us coffee and croissants, which we ate curled up in the covers, flaky pastry, making a mess.

A part of me felt guilty, but another part felt like somehow it… didn’t count? We’d all been together, seen each other naked. How was this any different?

It was, of course. I knew that deep down.

But that didn’t stop it from happening again.

For about a year, every time Kathryn and I were alone (always when we were drunk) we would fall into bed together and have sex. I remember the high I got when she told me I’d saved her sex life with Joe, that the threesome, and our subsequent sex sessions had made her rediscover her sexuality.

I learned so much about giving and receiving pleasure. I learned to slow down and to be gentle, to enjoy  every touch and every sensation.

After Kathryn and Joe’s wedding – yes, I was the bridesmaid (in more ways than one, you might say)- things came to a halt. There was no big conversation about it. We just stopped.

They moved after they had their first child and have three now. Life is busy. We don’t catch up often.

But I do wonder about them sometimes. I wonder if it was the threesome that help Kathryn rediscover her sexuality. Or if it was just me.

The author of this story is known to Mamamia but has chosen to remain anonymous for privacy reasons. The feature image used is a stock photo.

Feature Image: Getty.

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