Why is it that men can confidently strut on the beach in a pair of budgie smugglers while women, supermodels even, put themselves through a special type of hell come ‘bikini season.’
We’ve been extolling the differences between men and women ever since Eve took the proverbial bite of the apple but since a groundbreaking study revealed that even thinking about trying on cossies puts women in a bad mood (where would we be without you science?) we reckon we can all take a leaf out of the menfolk’s book this summer.
Just as an FYI, you should know that this post is sponsored by Swimwear Galore. But all opinions expressed by the author are 100% authentic and written in their own words.
Let’s take a look at a couple of different hot weather scenarios and how men and women react differently.
1. The onset of October/warmer weather.
Women: Bleeuurrrggghhhhh how is it October already? I’m not bikini ready. Gahhhh! *Employs a ridiculous method of cleansing, detoxing, exercising to conform to society’s narrow definition of what constitutes bikini ready *
Men: “_____ “
2. The lead up to bikini shopping.
Women: Have myriad conversations about it, followed by weeks of tanning and waxing to gain enough courage to step inside the changing room, eventually pushes aside the dread, goes in.
Men: “_____ “
3. Buying new cossies.
Women: Walks in to store, the mood here is hopeful, selects a couple of different strap scenarios: tops, bottoms, one-pieces thinks hey maybe this year will be different.
Twenty minutes later: Sends SOS message to friend: ‘HELP.’
Men: Pick pair off the shelf, check size, and buy it. (Or wears the same pair from 1995 regardless of fit.)
4. Preparation for beach visit.
Women: Spends inordinate amount of time (hours, days, weeks, years) ensuring there is not a single strand of hair on any part of the body so they can be ‘bikini ready’.
Men: Goes to beach.
5. At the beach: the ‘reveal.’
Women: Look around for (perceived) judgment before cautiously peeling off shorts and t-shirt to do the ‘big reveal.’
May or may not then don a kaftan/board shorts/head-to-toe burkini for body/cellulite-hiding purposes.
Men: already in the water.
6. At the beach: emerging from the water.
Women: First discreetly checks underwater that everything is in place, still has nightmares about that time at swimming carnival when she accidentally flashed the whole of year 8 (from two schools).
Men: already towelling off.
Regardless of your body type or size, you should feel comfortable going to the beach. You know that running conversation in your head about how awful your body is?
It’s just that: all in your head. No one else is thinking it. No one even considers whether you’re ‘bikini ready’.
Everyone else is too caught up in thinking the same thing about their own bodies. And besides, you’re going to be far harsher on yourself than anyone else ever could be.
And here’s one more tip from us:
YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. Remember that.
At Swimwear Galore we believe that every BODY is different and every BODY is beautiful.
We guarantee that you will find a swimsuit that fits perfectly to rock what you’ve got! Come and check out our Mix n Match separates section or try our Shop by Shape feature and design which combo works for you! Or pick your favourite trend and let us create your summer look. With over 90 brands, like your favourites Seafolly, Jets and Baku you won’t be disappointed!
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Top Comments
SO TRUE!
Nope. I whack on a swimsuit and give none of the f***s. I usually shave my various hairy bits for my own comfort in summer, not for the gawkers.