Don’t say we didn’t warn you.
Sorry to break it to you, but wedding dress shopping isn’t anywhere near as glamorous as you may be expecting.
You spend hours on end every Saturday schlepping your bridal party and close family from bridal boutique to bridal boutique, so they can give you advice that will probably just confuse you even more.
Well here are 11 things no one told you about looking for that dress, so you can prepare yourself…
1. Strangers will probably see you naked.
Wedding dress consultants don’t often have a lot of time, so they will be keen to get you in and out of lots of dresses (and undergarments, shape wear and corsets) as quickly as they possibly can.
You should mentally prepare yourself. And wear some good lingerie.
2. You will spend more on alterations than you ever believed possible.
Alterations may well cost over 50 per cent of your whole dress. One soon-to-be-married bride in our office has forked out $700 for alterations so far. Her dress cost $1300 to begin with.
3. You might not be able to send change room pictures to your friends.
Lots of stores WON'T let you take a photo of you in the dress until you've paid for it. Urgh.
4. You might not burst into tears.
Romantic comedies have set the expectations on 'finding the perfect wedding dress' uncharacteristically high. You assume when you try on the 154th dress, you will be blown away, and burst into tears as your mother and bridesmaids tear up too.
In reality? You might end up just going 'yep' and moving on with your day.
5. You've forgotten what shade 'white' even is.
There are approximately 9 shades of what you used to think was white. NINE.
There is now light ivory, white and dark ivory white, cream white, champagne white, and no they are not the same. And no, you must not forget the difference.
GOD FORBID you mismatch your veil to your gown by accidentally assuming both are white....
6. You'll still hate the changing rooms process.
Wedding dress shopping doesn't change a changing room from being a changing room. And all that clean white fabric will make you extra sensitive to your every imperfection.
7. You will feel sweatier than you realised possible.
No matter how air-conditioned or cool it is outside, wedding dress shopping will make you sweat buckets. You will sweat in places you didn't even know it was possible to sweat (like your belly after you've squeezed into a three layer dress and corset).
8. You will be told you look good in everything.
The people in the shop will unashamedly tell you that you look amazing in everything. Even when you look horrendous.
9. You will struggle to walk.
The thing no one ever tells you is that the reason you have to walk slowly and daintily down the aisle is that there's a very real chance you will trip on one of the five layers of tulle and lace you are wrapped in, and fall flat on your nose.
Wedding dress shopping will be your first taste of this.
10. You will be craving All. The. Spanx.
You promised yourself you wouldn't go there. You had hopes and dreams of wearing some cute white lingerie that you could sexily reveal post-wedding. But no.
The dress will be so goddamn skintight that those hopes will disappear. Instead you will be surprisingly keen to BRING ON THE SPANX.
11. You will enter shops outside your price range.
If the woman in the store is wearing gloves, just turnaround and get out. You probably can't afford it.
What's one thing you learnt from wedding dress shopping?
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