Mamamia recaps The Bachelorette: If Shannon isn't the next Bachelor I'll burn the mansion down.

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OH GOODIE. 

It's hometowns, so we're about to meet a bunch of overbearing mothers and weirdly protective sisters who are secretly in love with their... brothers. 

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First up, Elly meets Joe's golden retriever Alfie who she's already met... before. 

Alfie's embarrassed that his dad had to go on national TV to try to win back a woman he ghosted. 

"IT'S SO EMBARRASSING FOR HIM."  

The human members of Joe's family arrive at the bach pad and they're all really excited to meet Elly except for Joe's brother who from here on out will be referred to as... Angry Joe. 

Angry Joe does a yell about how Joe hasn't got a single date and sweetie, he had a bunch of them way before the show began filming. 

Joe has a chat to his mum Karen, while Angry Joe takes Elly for a chat. 

He questions Elly's reality TV career, and she starts crying and Angry Joe immediately has... regrets. 

"I've made a terrible mistake."  

Elly and Joe kiss goodbye and Elly says can't believe that what she wanted was in front of her the entire time. 

And.... SAME. 

Next it's time for Becky's hometown with Pete. 

They go for a wholesome bike ride and then have a wholesome picnic and talk about wholesome sh*t. 

Then they Zoom call Pete's wholesome married friends. 

One couple chat to Becky and ask her whether she'd move for love. She says she wouldn't and there's at least five seconds of genuine... tension. 

Becky and Pete kiss goodbye and it's... wholesome. 

IT'S BECOMING ABUNDANTLY CLEAR THAT THERE'S NOT GOING TO BE ANY SISTERS WHO ARE SECRETLY IN LOVE WITH THEIR BROTHERS IN THIS MOTHERFLIPPIN' SHOW. 

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It's time for Becky's hometown with Shannon. 

Becky and Shannon go to Shannon's brother's house. 

They have lunch and then one of Shannon's brothers takes Becky for a chat. 

He tells her that he's never seen Shannon look at a woman like he looks at Becky and Becky becomes increasingly concerned because she knows she's going to end up with... Pete. 

Shannon's other brother and sister ask Becky whether she's going to choose Shannon and she says... no. 

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Becky decides to break the news to Shannon right there and then. 

She takes him out the front and says she sees him more as a friend. 

Shannon takes it like an absolute champion and comforts Becky and HOLY SHIT HE IS TOO PURE AND WONDERFUL FOR THIS SHOW. 

Becky walks down the street while Shannon continues to yell out comforting and supportive statements at her. 

Millions of women across Australia start Googling "Bachelor 2021 applications" in the hope that this decent man who doesn't do a yell or a storm off might be looking for love next year. 

UNTIL NEXT WEEK.  

Catch up on our recaps here: 

Mamamia recaps The Bachelorette episode 1: One man straight up refused to accept a rose. 

Mamamia recaps The Bachelorette episode 2: That was so embarrassing for you, Harry. 

Mamamia recaps The Bachelorette episode 3: The puppet is the most interesting contestant on this show.

Mamamia recaps The Bachelorette episode 4: One man leaves the show after demanding "hotter chicks".

Mamamia recaps The Bachelorette episode 5: We finally know what happened between Elly and Joe. 

Mamamia recaps The Bachelorette episode 6: NO ONE IS EVEN WATCHING THIS SHOW ANYMORE.

Mamamia recaps The Bachelorette episode 7: JAMES JUST CHUCKED A MASSIVE TANTY.