'I've been in Felix's shoes. It doesn't end well.'

I never thought I'd say this, but can we spare a thought for Bachie Felix?

Not only is he trying desperately to manifest his first *real* grown-up relationship, it might just involve unsolicited polyamory.

We've all been there, haven't we?

Maybe just me then.

In case you missed it, Felix, a self-confessed "white picket fence type of guy", is currently in a bit of a pickle because the woman he's falling in love with has a boyfriend/sex slave.

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Jessica, his clear frontrunner, has been in a relationship with a man called Damien for 9 years, and has been noncommital about the prospect of giving that up. Especially the sexual component.

On Tuesday night's episode, when asked by a couples counsellor if she would end things with Damien if Felix ultimately picked her, she said she would.

Then she did a complete 180 while debriefing with Felix's other contender, Abigail.

Her ideal scenario would be to keep sleeping with Damien while doing long-distance with Felix.

It's a hard watch - seeing the most emotionally ill-equipped of this year's trio of Bachelors so visibly stuck between a rock and a hard place... or a Jessica and a Damien, as it were.

The whole thing is shakingly familiar to me because I've BEEN the Felix in this situation and let me tell you, mate, it's probably not a road you want to go down.

This is not to say polyamory can't work, it absolutely can - but from my basic understanding, it really needs to be built on a consensual agreement between all parties.

Let's recap for a sec:

Jessica wants to maintain a sexual relationship with Damien.

Damien is only prepared to have 'conscious conversations' about his undying love for Jessica.

Felix needs Jessica to end things with Damien for them to pursue a monogamous relationship.

Nobody is in agreement in this sordid love triangle and THIS WILL NOT END WELL.

For context, a few years ago I was propositioned by a former partner to consider an open relationship.

It came up on our first date, and then constantly from that moment on. Like Felix and Jessica, almost every conversation circled back to it.

Just wondering if you've given what we talked about some thought?

I'm so into you, and I'd really like to introduce a third person into this.

I'm thinking the fish tacos, and also how are you feeling about me having a side piece?

My road with my ex lasted nine months. Nine whole-ass months of lies, gaslighting and manipulation. I thought I was in love, but not one day with him was easy or straightforward. 

Apart from being a monumental waste of my time, the relationship was emotionally taxing and literally physically exhausting. He was most probably a sex addict, and I think that fed into the desire to add more women to the relationship - so I tried to "keep up" which just left me tired, like all the time.

Regardless of my efforts, I was always suspicious of his.. ahem.. comings and goings, and never secure in where we stood.

The thing is, you can't squish that desire down and you can't ignore it. It becomes the third person in your relationship, whether you want one or not.

And eventually, it comes to a head.

One night we got drunk, and he invited a nice European girl back to the apartment to continue drinking, then gaslit me into thinking I wanted a threesome with her. I didn't. We... didn't.

The night before I ended things, I found out he'd been with several different women on a health retreat. So we'd devolved into straight-up bulk cheating, cute. 

That was obviously the straw that broke my back. 

But when it came down to it, it was pretty simple. He wanted it open-ended; I didn't.

That's why I'd advise Felix against going down this road. The ambiguity will eat away at you. You need answers.

So for your sake and all of Australia's, have a SUPER conscious converation with the two of them and sort it out.

Or pick sweet Abigail, and avoid getting into a perpetual ménage à trois you didn't actually sign up for.

Should Felix choose Jessica? Share your thoughts in the comments below.

The Bachelors Australia continues 7.30pm Thursday on 10 and 10 Play. 

Feature Image: Network 10.

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