Grieving mum warns of suicide risk from 'social media generation'.

By Paul Kennedy.

“Having your own kids, you see how often they’re on social media and how often they need to be seen somewhere or wearing something or with someone. Yet, the core of who they really are seems to disappear in all of that, in the facade.”

They are the words of Kate McLoughlin, mother of teenager Zach, who took his own life last year.

Time tumbles and stalls, becomes almost abstract after a family suicide. Has it been that long? What month is it?

Then the first anniversary looms on the calendar, all the days and weeks suddenly align; what has been lost and felt can now be counted.

Pain stays and confusion does not diminish.

Kate McLoughlin wrote last week on her Facebook page: “I find it hard to comprehend that I have survived the last 12 months. There is not a day, not a minute, nor a second, that I don’t wish I could turn back time. How I wish he’d called instead of writing a suicide note.”

Kate’s beautiful, joyful Zach ended his life last March.

The young mother made the close community of Frankston weep with her plea to family and friends at his funeral, delivered after a loving eulogy.

“We are here today because of a choice that Zach made. A bad choice,” she said.

Among the mourners were other families whose boys had killed themselves. There have now been four among the same peer group in recent years.

“This trend has to stop,” she said.

It hasn’t.

There were no warning signs

“It is such a huge statistic in that age group and in men, generally,” Kate said.

“We had no idea this was coming.”

For 19 years, Zachary McLoughlin-Dore was the middle child of a loving suburban brood. He had an older brother Jake and younger brother Levi, who idolised him.

The boys’ parents separated when they were young and they went on living with their mother (Jake and Levi are still in the family home).

Until his death, Zach was the magnetic, boisterous son, who “took up half a room to tell you a story”.

“As the boys got older you can distinguish their personalities,” Kate said.

“Zach was always one I would sort of gravitate to because he was always fun. Always had something to put a smile on our face.”

His large posse of mates knew how to have a ball, swimming at the pier in summer and playing footy in winter.

But they also knew heartache.

These boys had seen tragedies

Three years ago, Zach watched one of his best friends, Jayden Davies, die from bone cancer.

Then two more mates died; both took their own lives.

Zach was appalled by his late friends’ “lack of value of life”.

“He was angry that these people had taken that option,” Kate explained.

“Not only for the loss of their own life — having watched Jayden fight for his last breath — but to the people who were going to find them, to the people they left behind.”

A couple of years skated by.

After high school, Zach carried his boyish exuberance into young manhood, beginning a building apprenticeship, hitting the party scene, buying a car, grinning like a movie star in photos he posted online.

One problem loomed. He didn’t much care for the annoying little details of adult life, like opening mail. When speeding and red light fines came in, he ignored them.

One day he realised he was $5,000 in debt and in danger of losing his license from mounting demerit points, which would threaten his job.

It was a Tuesday.

Kate talked to Zach about his dismay and they sorted out a payment plan. By 2:00pm, everything was “looking fabulous”.

Late in the afternoon, the young man came into the kitchen and asked what was for dinner. Kate told him and asked if he would put on a load of washing.

He seemed OK.

Zach then said he was going to meet a mate at a local basketball court, but did not show up.

Instead he wrote a suicide note on his phone, taking full responsibility for his debts, expressing his love for his ex-girlfriend, encouraging his brothers to “chase their dreams”, thanking his parents for his “beautiful upbringing” and bidding all goodbye.

This world “just wasn’t for him”.

Kate has been left to forever wonder why.

“I could tell people to look out for the signs and I encourage them to — but we didn’t have any,” she said.

“We were completely unaware until the police arrived.”

She does not even know when he became suicidal.

“Zach didn’t show any signs of depression, of mental illness,” she said.

“No, I think he was probably overcome with an acute depression in that hour or two from the time he left home.”

Since that awful day, another popular young local, Ben Hocking, has taken his own life. His football club hosted a day in memory of Zach and Ben, to encourage others to talk about suicide.

Families offered sympathies and shared stories, but could not understand the fatal pattern among their brothers and sons.

‘Social media is changing our children’

“I don’t believe that there’s ever one reason,” Kate said.

“I certainly believe that there was a culmination of things.”

She believes social media is one of those things.

“I really think that unfortunately young people have it really tough with the social media life they live,” she said.

“It seems that this generation has instant gratification, that they have instant everything online, on Facebook.

“You want someone to like the way you look, you put up a picture. You want to buy something, you just buy it.

“But then I think when it comes to solving a problem there’s not enough resilience for these kids to see themselves through that problem.”

Kate has worked in education and said she had seen "generations of kids come through school".

"Having your own kids, you see how often they're on social media," she explained.

"And how often they need to be seen somewhere or wearing something or with someone.

"Yet the core of who they really are seems to disappear in all of that — in the facade."

"They're expected to be successful, they're expected to look a certain way, they're expected to have certain things and they put far too much pressure on themselves to achieve that at a really early age.

"It takes a long time ... to buy your first brand new car, a long time to buy your first house, a long time to achieve job satisfaction."

"There just seems to be something missing in this generation."

And now she is left to bury her son's remains, which sit in a box on her lounge room side table.

"We do have somewhere to bury him, but I need to find the actual spot that he will be [buried]. That's hard," she said.

"It's hard to walk into a cemetery and find somewhere to put your baby."

It is just as hard to talk about her boy's death, but she feels it is necessary.

"Whatever I can do, whoever I can share my story with, whoever I can support through their struggles would be an honour in Zach's name."

This post originally appeared on ABC News.