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He ruined her life. So should this footballer get a second chance at glory?

He indecently assaulted a young woman – so is he entitled to another chance at fame?

Trigger Warning: This post deals with issues of sexual assault and may be triggering for survivors of abuse.

Essendon Football Club have had a troublesome year.  Heavy legal proceedings and drug investigations have damaged the club’s reputation, cost them a shit-ton of money and tested the loyalty of the devoted Bomber fans.

You’d think they’d be wise to just put their heads down and shun any more controversy. Right?

Wrong.  Because rumours abound that the club are looking to recruit former St Kilda player, Stephen Milne.

Read more: A beginners guide to the Essendon shitstorm

Milne, you may remember, was committed to stand trial in 2013 for four counts of rape of a teenager in 2004. It was alleged that Milne had sex with the student while she thought he was another player (who she had slept with previously). She says that she repeatedly asked him to stop, but he continued. Milne denied these allegations at the time.

AFL player Stephen Milne and his wife Melissa Rudling leaving Melbourne Magistrates Court (Photo by Scott Barbour/Getty Images)

It took an entire decade for this case to come to trial, including a lengthy Office of Police Integrity investigation into claims that police officers had tried to derail the investigation.

Ultimately, Milne pleaded guilty to indecent assault and was fined $15,000. The judge decided not to record a conviction, taking into account plea of guilty, good character, youth at the time and the significant delay in being brought to justice.

In sentencing, the judge referred to the impact of the assault on the victim, including ongoing nightmares. He said, “she continues to have feelings of being withdrawn and isolated. She has felt judged by others, she has been abused, she has felt a sense of injustice.’’

While he said that it was difficult to assess the impact on her because the accused had pleaded guilty to indecent assault, rather than rape, the judge was clear that the media attention focused on the case had exacerbated the victim’s pain.

With the pre-season NAB Challenge looming, Essendon don’t have enough players to field a side. The club is without 25 of its players while the AFL Tribunal deliberates over the 2012 drug scandal.

But the AFL Commission have ruled that the Bombers must take part in the fixture regardless – and is allowing them to top up the list by adding in temporary players.
Enter Milne.


The Essendon Football Club has not confirmed the rumour that he is under consideration – but the prospect has been raised by the Herald Sun and other news sources, with speculation on social media fuelling the story.

The fact is he COULD play. He retired after pleading guilty last year, but he has been kicking about for a team in the Northern Territory.

But SHOULD he play?

Some fans are ardent that under no circumstances should the club sign Milne. A man who has pleaded guilty of indecent assault should not be championed.

Despite his talent, Milne indecently assaulted someone he met in the course of his profession and his return to the game will see him welcomed back by commentators as “one of the all time greats”. He’ll be put in front of a televised audience and potentially worshiped by kids across the country. This may exacerbate his victim’s suffering – and she has no opportunity for further recourse.

That said, Stephen Milne has paid his fine and no conviction was recorded by the court. Milne has reportedly also suffered from the heavily publicized nature of the proceedings, which had devastating impacts on his family and job opportunities. Undoubtedly, things have not gone well for him over the past ten years.

There are calls for the AFL governing body to step in and take a hard-lined stance against player behaviour and show that violence against women has no place in their sport.

So where does fairness lie? With the player, who has accepted his punishment – or with his victim?

If you have experienced, or are at risk of domestic violence or sexual assault, you can receive help by calling 1800 RESPECT – 1800 737 732. If you, a child or anyone is in immediate danger please call the police on 000.

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Top Comments

Anonymous for this 10 years ago

Dear Mamamia,

I love you.

I do not love the way sexual assault survivors are depicted here.

I find the expectation that my life is ruined, that I am damaged, that I am broken beyond repair, far more difficult to navigate than actually processing and healing from the violent rape I survived last year.

I wish that this myth would stop being perpetuated, as I am stronger than the coward who used his body weight and brute strength to access my body, and so is this woman, because she spoke out.

The phrase "her life is ruined" implies that her identity is based on this one shit thing that someone else did to her. My life was changed by it. I was changed. But I wasn't ruined. All the good things about me and my life; my family, sense of humour, friends, career, new shoes, meat pies - I still enjoy them.

She and I are so much more than just a victim. The images used in other articles regarding sexual assault is often of the silhouetted women with head in hands, which implies that a woman who has been sexually assaulted is alone, unsupported and vulnerable. This stereotype is a dangerous one, as one of my biggest concerns about reporting this crime was being forever classified as the victim.
I don't regret reporting a rapist, and was hugely relieved to find that I'm not the women crying with her head in her hands over her ruined life. So if you're reading this, and are standing at that crossroad, report. Please say something to the police. Please.
It's been no picnic, but my life isn't ruined. The rapist's life, however, most certainly is. As it damn well should be. I don't think Milne should be allowed to play for this reason.
Apologies that this comment is rather clunky and without a real contention. I'm still not sure how to articulate this point properly.

guest 10 years ago

In trying to support people through terrible experiences we sometimes unintentionally cut their legs from under them by forgetting that they are more than that particular experience. In acknowledging that a person has been victimised we sometimes assign them the ongoing role of victim, perhaps crippling them more permanently than the actual experience. You articulated your point beautifully.

Keyla 10 years ago

Fantastic comment, and I think you articulated it perfectly.


Shadie 10 years ago

As a supporter, please Essendon, listen to us. #notomilne

Anon 10 years ago

because it might hard Essendons squeaky clean image? lol.

Anon 10 years ago

'harm' that should have read.

Ineedacoffee 9 years ago

Im a Power supporter and i fully agree with you
Bombers do not need milne
They trying to rebuild, have a good list and dont need that added drama