Being the only single friend in your group sucks. It's worse when there's two.

Being single is freeing, exciting and powerful. It can also be lonely, sad and frightening. 

Something that's rarely talked about is how it can be extremely isolating when no one else in your inner circle is also single. 

I have been the only single person in the group a few times so I can tell you that it can be pretty sh*tty. 

Watch: Horoscopes & Breakups. Post continues below.

You're constantly been asked about your dating life, your friends love asking if they can swipe on your dating apps because it's just a game for them and they also take on the role of Cupid. Depending on your friends, this can feel super demeaning and might feel like they're not taking your life seriously. 

I've definitely experienced this before. 

On the other hand, I've had friends who do all these things because they genuinely care about my dating life. That's when it becomes fun. I've had friends set me up on dates with really great people, I've had friends who would plus one me to events because they knew I was more likely to be free that evening and I've even had friends who would take me out to the movies or to dinners when I have gone through a breakup.

And then... Someone else in our group became single. 

At first, I was ecstatic. Finally, I had someone else to share dating stories with, someone who can help me draft up text messages and vice versa, and most importantly someone who understands what it's like being single amongst a sea of people in relationships. 

If you're single and one of your friends is going through a breakup, you immediately become their person. It's an honourable position to be in but the level of dependency can be... a lot. You're always expected to be keen to go out and your role is to wing-woman your friend. 

You can't get annoyed if she leaves you at the bar to talk to men because she's going through a breakup and she needs this. 

You have to be there to comfort her when a date goes bad but you also have to expect she might cancel on you at the last minute if the guy she was crying about wants to see her that night. 

You have to constantly check in with her when she starts dating someone because you know that for some weird reason, the first breakup after a breakup is always much worse. 

Most importantly, you have to be okay if she completely stops hanging out with you when she gets into another relationship. 

This is a position I've been in many times. I've also (unfortunately) been the person who latches onto her single friends like a parasite when I've gone through a breakup myself. 

I've taken my single friends for granted, I've used them as sounding boards, I've gotten upset when I wasn't their number one priority and when I think back on my actions I'm filled with regret and embarrassment because I know they would do it all again, as would I for them. It comes with the friendship. 

I'm sure everyone has experienced either being the friend after the breakup or being the single friend that the breakup friend latches onto.

Something that doesn't get spoken about enough is how the rest of the friendship group views their two single friends. 

One friend's singleness is always prioritised over the other. This wasn't something I noticed when I myself was single but when there were two single people in my group and I wasn't one of them. 

One of them had been single for a few years and the other had just gone through a breakup a few months prior to us all catching up for drinks. 

"I think I'm ready to date again." My breakup friend said, let's call her Anna*.  

She looked over to my single friend (Taylor*) and asked "Will you come to this speed-dating event with me?" 

"I've done speed-dating before and I didn't really enjoy it." 

"Oh, please it'll be funny and we can go out for drinks after." 

Taylor eventually gave in. 

I called Taylor a few days after her and Anna's speed-dating event. Never having gone to an event like that myself, I wanted all the goss. "She met someone and went home with him," Taylor told me. My heart sank. I knew Taylor didn't want to go to the event in the first place and her saving grace was being able to make a girl's night out of it with Anna over drinks. 

"It's fine, she's going through a breakup, she needs this." She quickly said after my silence.  

I caught up with my group for brunch a few weeks after the speed dating event. Both Taylor and Anna weren't able to make it. 

"Who should we set Anna up with?" 

"I think I'm going to invite Anna to my partner's birthday, he has heaps of single friends." 

"When is her birthday again? We should do a surprise dinner for her." 

If you're going through a breakup, these are the friends you definitely want. We were engrossed in planning out Anna's potential future. 

It was only that night, that I thought "Why do we never do those things for Taylor?" 

I've only ever known Taylor as a single person but I also know that she's actively dating. She's never asked any of us to set her up with someone, but neither had Anna. 

I thought back to when I was single and one of my friends had gone through a breakup. I distinctly remember my friends having similar conversations about setting my friend up. 

I also remember what went through my mind when we were having those conversations:

"Why have they never offered to set me up?"

"Why don't they invite me to that event as well?" 

"I wonder if they'll do anything for me for my birthday." 

I never said anything because I wasn't the one going through a breakup so I didn't need it. 

Except I did need it. 

I began comparing myself to my other single friend in ways I've never compared myself to another woman. "I should laugh more like her" or "maybe because she's prettier than me" or "I remember she said that the guy she went on a date with liked her dress, I should buy the same one." 

Now, Anna has been in a relationship for two years. When I asked Taylor how she felt she said "Honestly, I feel relieved. I mean I love her, but it was a lot to take on." 

What Taylor said is what every "secondary single friend" has experienced in some capacity. 

Whether you're in a relationship or going through a breakup, it's important to remember that just because one of your friends has been single for a while, doesn't mean that they don't deserve the same generosity and attention as the rest of your friends. 

Being single can be exhausting at times but it's much worse when there's two of you. 

*Names are anonymous and have been changed for safety reasons.

If you want more culture opinions by Emily Vernem, you can follow her on Instagram @emilyvernem.  

Feature Image: Canva.