If you’re one of those people who’s never quite sure how you rate in bed, today’s your lucky day.
Thousands of Redditors have taken to the popular chat forum and decided the tell-tale signs someone is good between the sheets, so now you can REALLY know if you’re reaching those sexy time KPIs.
God bless the internet.
1. You’re empathetic.
As one particularly punny commenter added, “it’s because we understand where you’re coming from.”
Well… that definitely makes sense.
Empathy was deemed the biggest sign that a person will be great at sex, with 4000 people agreeing it's the best indicator of bedroom performance.
2. You use tongue sparingly.
Apparently, your kissing technique is the second most important barometer of sex prowess.
"The way they kiss [is super important]," wrote one contributor. "In my experience, the man who puts his whole tongue down your throat is also the one to jam his cock into you without any kind of foreplay and jackhammer away."
Nearly 4000 voters agreed. So you heard 'em, keep those tongues under control, people!
3. You wear chokers (applies to women only).
Okay... so we've reported on this little-known phenomenon at Mamamia HQ before. But yes, it appears the '90s icon has now been covered in sexy shame.
Apparently - APPARENTLY - women wearing chokers indicates that they are tigerish in the bedroom. About 3700 Reddit dudes seem to think so, anyway.
"Those black chokers that girls wear are actually black belts for [sex]."
Right-o.
4. You've been in a long, healthy relationship before.
Getting to reaaaaally know the ins-and-outs over a long-term relationship is super important, 1300 Redditors reckon.
"[People] that have been in long relationships are usually a lot better in bed than those who've had more short term relationships," one commenter wrote.
Many agreed.
"I briefly dated this person who had never really dated anyone, but had banged half the town. I was amazed at how terrible they were at everything," added one user.
5. You're quiet and modest.
"They don't talk about [how good they are]," Cry_Dolla_Sign said. "They don't raise their voice or seem pressed. Quiet, modest dudes are always [bigger downstairs]."
If any fellas are reading, pipe down. Do all the talking with your little man.
How did you do? Let us know in the comments below.
Top Comments
no 5 is an old rule from teenage time: people who have good and a lot of sex won't talk about.
Seems to apply to adults too.