Want: Sexual Fantasies by Anonymous by Gillian Anderson is a collection of women's sexual fantasies from around the world. Collected and curated by the actor, writer and activist, Gillian Anderson, they give an extraordinary and modern insight into what women really want when it comes to sex. The following is an excerpt and all fantasies are anonymous.
Sex on a church altar.
"One of my most meaningful sexual fantasies was born out of a frustration created by a religious dogma: in the Orthodox religion, women are not allowed to enter the altar. My separation from religion occurred around the same time that this fantasy was born. Before I die, I must find an empty church – be it abandoned or not – and I want a man to go down on me as I lie on the altar and my moans of pleasure to fill the echoing room. I even fantasise that I find a young priest who is willing to do this and is not afraid that his God might punish him, as I believe sex can be one of the most religious experiences of our lives."
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Creating a fantasy world.
"I have been with my husband for 13 years, married for 12. After we got married, our sex life was pretty nonexistent – not due to lack of attraction, but instead due to his severe depression, self-loathing and the impact of an overbearing mother. It left me feeling empty and lonely. In order to cope and to feel a sense of affection and love, and to reach orgasm on my own, I began to build a fantasy world. Sometimes I'm a survivor in a zombie apocalypse or a witch in a wizarding world. I can build on these fantasies for months, and then start a whole new one. In reality, my husband and I have sex maybe once a month now. We have a respectful, kind and fun relationship. Part of me wants to retreat into my fantasy world but, for him, I try to stay present in our lovemaking. Still, the level of rejection I felt for many years was incredibly destructive, and I know without my fantasies and my fluidity in imaginary world building, I probably would have ended my life."
Scottish/married/pansexual
A dominant man.
"For a long time now, my fantasy has been about a dominant man. An affluent man with a great job who's really, really good in bed. The "Christian Grey" fantasy. Every single boyfriend I've ever had, since I was 17, has been sh*t at sex and needed looking after in some way. They were usually skint and lacking real sexual experience. In my fantasy, I'm with a man who surprises me with restaurant reservations without checking with me first. He buys me a new dress and leaves it out on the bed with a note that says "Wear this". I'm picked up in an expensive car, he pays for the meal, of course, and then in the bedroom, I don't have to do a thing. I'm completely submissive and pleasured beyond belief."
Undisclosed location/single/heterosexual
Harry Styles.
"I have two main sexual fantasies. In the first, I'm not me, I'm younger, thinner, and I've met Harry Styles and he really likes me and wants to spend time with me. I'm usually a writer or a lawyer, very successful in my own right, and after a few dates and time spent together, he starts telling me how much he likes me and wants to be with me and only me. Then it moves into very hot, sensual, passionate sex. The second fantasy always involves my partner and another woman wanting to have sex with him. When I think about it out of the context of the fantasy, I feel it's a bit perverted and I'm uncomfortable with just how desperate she is to be f**ked by him. I quite often cry after I have this type of fantasy. I didn't fantasise during sex with my partner until quite recently. He had an emotional affair with a woman, and when we were having lots of desperate sex, I fantasised a couple of times that he was f**king her. I cried after I did that also."
New Zealander/married/pansexual
A machine.
"I am a machine. I am moving rhythmically to a beat and pumping. But I am also a machine that is pumping out nutrients. I am being consumed. My lover is suckling at my teat. Another is sucking between my legs and drinking the juice. Feeding. My eyes are rolled back, we are all mindless. I'm being devoured. I am meat. I am milk. I am fruit. I'm keeping them alive. I am nothing except for this purpose. Like a sow with 20 piglets hanging off her teats. Their hunger has become their pleasure. They are now strong. I'm being pumped back up after giving my fluids. Then our juices overflow. We are full. We stop pumping. We are oiled up. We slide apart. My lover and the others get up and move on. The next lover arrives. They attach to my teat and start to suck. They start to eat. I start to feed them. I am keeping them alive. I am being devoured. I am a machine."
Australian/in a relationship/bisexual
A man being nice to me.
"My deep-seated fantasy is for a man to be indelibly – and entirely ordinarily – nice to me. I do not long for flowers and speeches and thoughtful presents, nor a vacation at great expense. In my fantasy, I am not spoiled. The thought to which I grow wettest is of a partner who takes care of me in bed, who aims to make our bodies and their pleasure mutually familiar, who is accomplishing all of that niceness in the most generic sense of that term."
Chinese/single/heterosexual
To have a penis.
"I would like to have a penis. That is my fantasy. I love my boobs and my femininity. But I would like to have a penis to f**k a woman, or many women, with care and protection, but also with fiery desire and to feel the pleasure that men feel when having sex with a woman. Isn't that funny?"
Mestiza Ecuadorian/single/bisexual
Myself.
"My absolute favourite fantasy is unfortunately never ever going to happen as it involves a room that I access through my full-length mirror where I am waiting for myself. No, I am not a narcissist (although a narcissist may well say that) – I just love the idea of being totally free to experiment with someone who knows me as well as I know myself, needing no mood-interfering guidance and to feel that total lack of self-consciousness."
British/heterosexual/married
Want, sexual fantasies by anonymous and collected by Gillian Anderson (Bloomsbury, $34.99), is out now.
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Feature image: Getty.
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