Three years has passed since Brittany Gibbons had sex every day for a year. 365 days of non-negotiable sex with her husband, Andy.
Three years on, the pair are no longer having sex every day (phew! – 1125 consecutive days of sex sounds like a lot of work, and I’m sure certain body parts would start complaining. Loudly).
But Brittany thought it was time for reflection:
“First, we learned that it’s hard and that’s normal,” she wrote for Good Housekeeping. ” Fitting sex into all of that is difficult, but for us, it’s necessary. Sex is what reminds us that we’re intimate partners and not just roommates in charge of keeping kids alive.”
“We learned the exact amount of sex life we need to keep us happy in our marriage, and we’re able to adjust our lives around that. Intimacy doesn’t always mean penetration. Sometimes it’s making out on the couch like teenagers, sometimes it’s Andy triple checking the DVR to make sure all my fall TV shows are set to record,” she added. “Finally, I learned that I am a better wife, a better mother and a better woman when I take the time to be secure in my relationship and selfish about feeling good about myself.”
And this last point is what’s so intriguing about Brittany’s story.
The way having daily sex – regardless if she was in the mood (or not) dead-tired-and-just-wanting-to-sleep (or not) – forged the pathway towards a deeper, more positive confidence in her skin.
It took three months of daily sex for Brittany to enjoy the pleasure of sex again. As opposed to listening for the slapping of her stomach skin against his, and manoeuvring herself to avoid her thighs clapping together.
It took six months for her to ditch the camisole she’d been relying on to cover her breasts and stomach.
After a year of daily sex, she started making school lunches in her underwear. She no longer clutched at a towel to cover her stomach as she darted from the bathroom to the bedroom. She stopped cringing when her husband wrapped his arms around her waist.
Sure, having sex every day helped her marriage.
“Sex begat more sex, and those connected, loved up feelings began to creep outside of the bedroom — or in our case, the laundry room, the closet and our garage — and into our everyday lives,” she wrote. “We were more romantic with each other, touching arms as we passed, kissing longer before work and not just the cold familiar peck. Our relationship was stronger and better when our intimacy was flourishing.”
But it did more than that.
“Having regular sex with my husband isn’t making my marriage divorce-proof or immune to infidelity or angst, but it is helping me feel confident enough in my skin to survive it if it does happen,” she wrote.
Sex showed Brittany what her body is capable of. How it can be made to feel. That feelings of pleasure and intimacy and connection are so, so much more powerful than the numbers shown on a scale or the reflection of nakedness in a mirror.
Loving (desiring, even) your body for what it can do, as opposed to what you think it should look like. There’s really nothing more sexy than that.
Feature image via Instagram.