Image:Winter sex. It’s like normal sex… on ice. (via Titanic)
When it’s bone-chillingly cold and blustery outside, the thought of getting hot and heavy becomes quite appealing.
Anyone who’s done an outdoor survival course knows body heat is the ultimate way to stay warm, especially the skin-on-skin kind. Plus, any excuse to have sex is great.
Except… having sex during winter isn’t actually that enjoyable. Case in point…
RELATED: 16 (very convincing) reasons winter should be your new favourite season.
1. You don’t actually want to get naked.
Layering up is essential to fighting the chill, so it seems very counter-intuitive to remove said layers for a prolonged period of time. How can you possibly feel hot when you feel so cold?
Plus, winter un-dressing is incredibly time-consuming. Boots, socks, jeans, maybe stockings under jeans, T-shirt, jumper, jacket, possibly another coat on top, scarf, beanie, undies... and that's just one of you. By the time you're both done, it's basically spring again.
RELATED: Why the most-asked question about sex is the hardest to answer.
2. You also don't really want your lover to physically touch you.
Nothing kills the urge to have sex like frozen fingers running down your back. Three months of abstinence is beginning to sound appealing...
3. The cold toes/bed socks conundrum.
The body's extremities tend to suffer the wrath of cold weather. Particularly for those of us with poor circulation, this presents a conundrum: do I wear bed socks during sex, a behaviour widely lauded as 'unsexy'; or do I risk my phelanges getting even colder, and coming into contact with my beloved's vulnerable skin?
It's a tough call: your dignity vs. everyone's warmth and comfort. However, there's good news for those of us who believe in 'socks appeal': wearing socks during sex can help you reach orgasm. The more you know... (Post continues after gallery.)
Excellent winter beauty products
4. Your winter skin.
Fact: cold air saps human skin of its natural oils and moisture, meaning it's naturally going to be a little more... well, lizard-like than usual. Those scalding hot showers you love don't help matters either.
So unless you and your partner are diligent moisturisers, you're naturally going to be dealing with a little scaliness (and worse... flaking skin) when the clothes come off. Mmm, friction. Then there's the goosebumps...
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5. The slipping doona situation.
If you're getting it on in bed, your armoury of blankets and doonas and sheets will help to keep you both toasty. Problem solved! Except blankets do not simply stay put when the bumping and grinding begins.
This then distracts you from the activity at hand because you're constantly reaching for and re-adjusting your beloved source of warmth — and then kicking it off again when you get too hot and heavy.
RELATED: Making your bed each morning says more about you than you realise.
6. The body fluid-doona situation.
Managing to secure your bodies within the necessary 'blanket cocoon' (as one of our colleagues calls it) is an achievement. But then a new issue arises: body fluids could get trapped in the cocoon with you, and then what happens?
Sweat is the obvious culprit here, and we probably don't need to go into further detail about what else could happen. Also, hot sweaty sheets get cold again real quick after the event.
RELATED: 8 reasons why you're always freezing cold.
7. The asphyxiation risk.
In your efforts to stay warm in the blanket cocoon, you could seriously limit your oxygen supply. Be careful out there. (Post continues after gallery.)
The on-screen orgasms that got us talking.
8. Not wanting to be too adventurous.
Body heat will keep you warm against winter's chill... until that body heat is suddenly removed, and the now-exposed skin begins to feel even colder. This will inevitably happen when you change positions during sex. So to avoid that nasty surprise, you try to just stay put as much as possible — sensible, sure, but also not very fun.
RELATED: Zero desire to have sex? This is the exercise proven to boost your libido.
9. It's hard to be seductive when you're shivering.
You want to be naked, but you're also longing to keep just one item of clothing on your person, so you don't get frostbite. It's a battle.
10. The automatic mood-killer that is a winter food baby.
Pasta, casserole, lasagne, roast potatoes... the food we typically eat during winter is freakin' delicious, and very good at keeping us warm. It also tends to be quite heavy, and anyone who's ever grown a winter food baby knows the only thing you feel like doing in that situation is lying down and waiting for the pain to pass.
There's a reason bears hibernate through the cold, you know. But getting naked and bouncing around? Um... not really the number one priority here.
Do you enjoy sex during winter? What's the worst part for you?
