The diversity of Group Therapy questions on Mamamia never fails to impress me – “the best” age to have sex, when your kids want to have sex but what about sex before marriage when you really thought you wouldn’t or even shouldn’t. Fiona* writes
.“I’m in my early twenties and I’m a virgin. I’m a Christian, so being a virgin kind of comes with the territory, with the whole ‘no sex before marriage’ thing. That’s all been well and good, until I met a guy that I really like. He’s not a Christian and has had his fair share of sex. This has kind of got me thinking differently now. I really want to sleep with him. My question is, I was wondering if there was anyone that’s been in the same position? I get that this is more of a religious kind of issue so it may rule out some people’s experiences, but I’m really interested about all of your opinions, regardless of background. Also, are there any Christians, Muslims, Jews etc. out there who have done it outside of marriage and just not regretted it at all??
I’m really keen to hear your thoughts. “
Top Comments
Hi I'm also a Christian and a virgin. You're completely right. It's all well and good when it's theoretical, but what happens when you meet someone who doesn't share your beliefs? I was lucky enough to fall in love with a man who so completely respects my values that he is ok with no sex before marriage, even though he is not a virgin himself. Actually when I told him about it, he told me how much he admires me for my decision. Don't get me wrong, there are times when it is so incredibly difficult to resist, but deep down, I know that it is the right thing for us. Deep down, I know that no matter how much I might enjoy the act, afterwards I would feel that I had let myself and our relationship down, and cheated myself of the wedding night I have always dreamed of. I believe that our relationship is all the better because of waiting. I truly believe that it is possible to have a loving, completely healthy relationship that doesn't, at this stage, involve sex. There are so many other ways to be intimate.
I'm not saying it's the right thing for you - because YOU are the one who has to make the decision. Whatever you choose, I pray that God blesses you in your decision with peace of mind.
Hey everyone, I just wanted to say thankyou so much for all the comments. For the record, I didn't end up sleeping with this guy. It didn't feel right and to be quite honest, I wasn't ready. On a side note, we're not together anymore. It was quite a messy ending. After reading these comments, I'm so glad that I didn't. Thankyou again so much for your advice. It's comforting and the support that I really needed. You'll never know how much you impacted on my life :) xo