One of my life regrets is that I didn’t report my obstetrician for digital rape. During my second labour the obstetrician gave me an internal exam to see if she would fit (first baby was a caesar). I was in agony and he barked at me to “just relax, its going to be a long night”. The labour was quick however and thankfully she was born without his presence. However, i kept bleeding so the midwives called for him to attend. At this stage I was asleep, only to wake up, sitting bolt upright in extreme pain to grab his hands, which were inside me. He immediately said “i didn’t wake you up because I wanted you to be relaxed.” He was manipulating out a blood clot, but had not explained the procedure or asked for consent before he put his hand in my vagina.  I wanted to focus on her wonderful birth, but I wish I sent him a thank you card for not being there. And reported the arrogant misogynist. 

I wish I could write to this writer, I feel so much in common and that I am the sequel to her story! My 20 year marriage to my childrens father was seemingly identical to her story. No love and little affection, as we drifted slowly apart. It was a lonely relationship and I occasionally thought was no different to me being a single parent anyway, so seperate we seemed to be living under the same roof. Even though we had sex regularly I too cringed at his touch and forced myself because I loved him, but more as a good friend than a real partner. So i let this drift on until he finally put it into crisis with his own actions. He too was initially cold when I told him I wanted to seperate but remain as amicable co parents for the children’s sake. I even broached the exact living arrangements as this writer.