'I've never really spoken about what happened to me.' 8 women share their experience of obstetric violence.

Content warning: This story includes detailed depictions of birth trauma and discussions of suicide that may be distressing to some readers.

For some women, their birth experience is beautiful. For others, it's far from it.

The birth of their child, for some women, isn't just hard, physically and emotionally. Instead, it's downright traumatic. And in some cases, this is due to obstetric violence – any act or action that makes the woman giving birth feel as though they've been dehumanised, abused or violated by a healthcare provider.

It's a conversation countless women have been having for years. Only now is it entering the main arena. 

This week, Mamamia published an article examining the rise of obstetric violence, speaking to an expert in the field in relation to a new study showing one in 10 Australian women reported that they have experienced obstetric violence.

It hit a nerve with many, with dozens of mothers sharing their own related struggles, from being given no pain relief when asked, to being forced to use forceps or having episiotomy stitches get seriously infected. In all of these cases, the women voiced their concerns to their healthcare provider – whether it be a nurse, ambulance worker, midwife, doctor or obstetrician.

But they were ignored or shamed.

Watch: the truth about birth trauma. Post continues below.

As Liz Wilkes, the Managing Director of My Midwives, said to Mamamia, the trauma associated with a violent or ill-cared-for birth can have serious consequences.

"The trauma for not only the woman, but for those healthcare providers who have had to watch on despite telling their colleague they've done wrong. It can be really horrible. Even the midwives I've worked with, we have seen bad things happen within the system and felt helpless and scarred by it."

The point of bringing this conversation to the forefront isn't to paint all births as horrible experiences, or to fearmonger. Nor is it to blanket all healthcare providers in a negative light, as the work the vast majority of them do should be celebrated.

Rather, it's about acknowledging the reality many women have faced over the years – and the desperate need for change.

To make more people feel seen, heard and understood, Mamamia spoke with eight women about their own experiences with obstetric violence.

Here are their stories.

1. "I had my second baby with no complications until I went to the toilet and he was ready to come out and come out quickly. There was no nurse ready to realise this was going to happen. When I pushed, the baby ripped me open – a fourth-degree tear. I had to wait hours for the OB to come and stitch me up.

"Once settled in bed the next day I felt wind coming through my vagina. They then cut me and re-stitched. I arrived home from hospital and a couple of months later it was still terrible, leaving me with a vaginal rectum fistula. This is very rare and normally happens in poorer countries where they don't have OBs. 

"Four years later, I went to a top-notch rectal specialist, but afterwards it got infected. They put me straight back into hospital. 18 years later some wind still does pass through the vaginal wall. It's a horror story, let alone going through it all with a newborn and toddler. I swear I've got PTSD from it, and I still cry when I talk about it. My firstborn also has a big scar on his face from where they used forceps."

2. "I was 15 when I was pregnant. I never ever will forget the way I was treated by a midwife giving me an internal examination several hours before I went into labour. She was so rough, so brutal and so rude. I left so traumatised and scared to actually go back to the hospital when I was in labour. An ambulance was called for me and another thing I'll never forget is the midwife slapping me and saying 'you are a baby having baby, you will be fine'."

3. "I was butchered by a doctor that didn't even look at me or speak to me – just came in stitched me up and left. I was nothing to her."

4. "I will never forget the trauma of my twin's birth. I gave birth to one vaginally, then the second twin the doctor put her hand right up inside of me to pull out my second baby. I had no gas no nothing, my feet placed up on stirrups. I said to her you are hurting me. My baby's heart rate dropped and my waters broke. I then passed out and woke up in recovery from an emergency c-section. It was just a horrid experience and I ended up having a hysterectomy in my 30s due to the complications of my birthing experience. My experiences with midwives have been far better."

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5. "I've never really spoken about what happened to me. I have flashbacks and trauma because of that night. I did everything right. Everything I was told. When my waters broke at home, I called the midwife as our local hospital's maternity ward had closed down. The next hospital was an hour drive away. The midwife told me to call an ambulance. They arrived and they were rude and impatient. We were told by our doctor to go immediately to another hospital as the local one did not have staff experienced in midwifery or obstetrics. The ambulance drivers ignored our request and stopped us at the local hospital. I was in full-blown labour by this point.

"I had one inexperienced hospital staff member insert their hand into me to tell me they saw nothing, followed by another who said they could see a head. People stood around and gawked at me while I'm pretty sure one staff member approached me with a manual book. On my hands and knees with no pants on, I lay there crying. By the time the ambulance drivers realised no one could help me, they decided it was time to leave and go to the next hospital. 

"To get there in time before my baby arrived, they needed to speed. This meant strapping me down by my hands and ankles like a caged animal. They strapped me down as I lay there crying looking at my partner as he cried too. We arrived at the right hospital eventually. My beautiful son was born half an hour later. He looked perfect... he is perfect. My son lives with a lifelong disability and I personally feel that it was related to the traumatic birth experience. One test result stated that the possible cause of his disability was caused during my labour. I didn't know how common [obstetric violence] was or that more women are now speaking about it."

6. "I found the pain levels were unbearable, so I asked to have an epidural multiple times. In my birth plan, I clearly stated that if it's possible – I want the epidural. When I went into labour, I was told the epidural 'would be organised shortly'. They kept lying to me, when in fact nobody was organising for me to have it. Instead, they told my partner behind my back that I was 'doing too well and wouldn't need an epidural'. It should've been my choice! I was so angry about how I was deliberately set up to just deal with the pain instead of giving me that pain relief I had asked and planned for. The gas did nothing. Honestly, I know people say birth is a beautiful thing but if you feel so much pain, it's also very horrible!"

7. "I felt forced to get the Foley bulb induction – it's a balloon that get placed into your cervix and blown up with water. I was screaming in agony, the female obstetrician remarked that I better wait to scream until labour actually starts. After a few hours, a nurse checked and they had inflated it too much. It was forcibly opening my cervix manually it would seem, and I just felt helpless."

8. "During my first labour, I requested gas for pain relief. The midwife pretended to turn it on, and offered me reiki. Then at the shift change the next midwife told me the gas was never turned on. I was in agonising pain for eight hours at this point."

If you find yourself needing to talk to someone after reading this story, please call Lifeline on 13 11 14.

For help and support, contact PANDA (Perinatal Anxiety & Depression Australia) on 1300 726 306.

Have you experienced obstetric violence before? If you would like to share your experience, you can do so in the comments below.

Feature Image: Canva.