User Comments

chombychops March 13, 2024

Thank you for writing this article! We need to see more of this information so that people do not misuse important terms that are, frankly, very serious. 


Coercive controllers, often disordered people (narcissistic, borderline et al) ruin lives. They cause long-lasting psychological damage, they often physically abuse, and some murder their targets. 

The terms in this article are key tactics used by disordered people, who represent about 15% if the population. Let's use these labels for the people that actually deserve them, and refrain from applying them to the rest of us, who are beautiful, normal, and well-meaning people. 

chombychops June 2, 2023

I hope you find some healing so that you don’t continue to attract these people into your life. 

chombychops April 6, 2023

Holly, you’re a legend.  

chombychops March 12, 2023

What glorious gowns! I love the volume, the layers and the rich colours. Agree that there is a lot of beige. but most of the ladies pull it off. Cara Delavigne is the standout for me. It's fun to see red carpet look again. 

chombychops March 8, 2023

This has opened my eyes to a whole new world of help in my life! I would happily have a personal assistant like this. Someone who took over my mental load - the school WhatsApp chats, the birthday presents, the enrolling in sports, carnivals, tracking of events, tracking of chores, doing online grocery shop...I would have to give up the cleaner but when I think about it, a peaceful mind is more important to me than a clean home. And cleaning is easier to delegate among husbands and kids, but the mental load, that is very hard to delegate. This should be a proper profession.