This is one for the people who have a mild interest in the Royals, but not enough to sacrifice their Friday night to watch the ninth-in-line to the throne marry a some guy named Jack.
We get you. We’ve got you. It’s what we’re here for.
Quick recap for context: Princess Eugenie, daughter of Prince Andrew and Sarah Ferguson (the one with the red hair and a personality), wed 32-year-old Jack Brooksbank, an ambassador for fancy tequila brand Casamigos, at St George’s Chapel, Windsor.
Eight hundred people were in attendance, including most of the Royals and a bunch of random celebrities.
Now that you’re caught up, here’s the highlights package…
1. Pretty much everything Prince George did.
Ladies and gentlemen, the future King of England.
But also just a five-year-old kid who's been stuffed into a tiny suit for his dad's cousin's wedding.
Of course, the little Prince is clearly well rehearsed courtesy of Uncle Harry and Aunty Meghan's wedding in May, and nailed the whole waving at the crowds and not chucking a tantrum thing.
He didn't even flinch when his minder Lady Louise Windsor's dress whipped up in the wind exposing her undies to the world, nor when a fellow pageboy tripped and took a young bridesmaid down with him.
Such a professional.
2. Fergie not even pretending to hide that she was knackered.
It was a big day for the mother of the bride, and a bloody long walk down the aisle.
And when Sarah Ferguson finally made it to her seat in the choir section at the front of the five centuries-old chapel, she didn't even try and hide her exhaustion. (Or perhaps relief that the whole planning bit was over.)
3. Princess Eugenie's dress reveal.
Yes, there's the whole true love and life-long commitment bit, but let's be honest - a big part of the reason we spent two hours of our Friday night watching a complete stranger get married is so we could see (and potentially judge) the dress.
The Peter Pilotto-designed gown didn't disappoint.
The train. The lack of veil. The symbolic detail (motifs of Scottish Thistle, a Shamrock for her mother's Irish roots, the York Rose and ivy to represent their home). The deep-V backline to purposefully celebrate her scoliosis surgery scar.
Stunning.
4. When Jack couldn't get the ring on.
Maybe all the excitement makes your joints swell or something, because we swear this happens at every wedding. Ever. Only in most cases there isn't 800 people watching (give or take a few million who were tuning in to the broadcast).
But yes, there was poor Jack doing his very best to not panic as he tried, and failed, to push the gold wedding band onto his new bride's finger.
The Princess ultimately had to intervene and, with a bit of elbow grease, managed to get it over her knuckle.
But good news for Jack. Pending a pair of bolt cutters, that thing is on her finger FOR LIFE.
5. The obligatory top-of-the-steps kiss.
It would be creepy in any normal circumstance. Cheering for two people you've never met to lock lips, purely for your enjoyment.
But I think we can all acknowledge that there is precisely nothing normal about a Royal wedding.
So there we were, "naww"ing and "yay"ing as the newlyweds performed their first public kiss on the steps of St George's.
You gotta love love.