Content warning: The following contains discussion of self harm and eating disorders.
In May 1991, Dr James Colthurst cycled up the path to Kensington Palace. By the time he left, he was carrying the beginning of a story that would be read by millions, change the shape of multiple relationships and cast a shadow over the British Royal Family.
It was the story of Diana, Princess of Wales. Told, for the first time, in her own words.
The true story behind The Crown's secret Diana tapes.
As captured in season five of Netflix series The Crown, in the early 1990s, Princess Diana worked with British journalist Andrew Morton on what he later described as an "authorised unauthorised biography".
It began without her cooperation, as a tell-all that leant on friends and acquaintances of the Princess for insight. Many of these sources expressed concern that the woman behind the famous bashful smile was deeply lonely and unhappy.
They were right. Diana was feeling utterly imprisoned by her marriage, by duty, by the false fairytale being sold to the public. Through Morton's book she saw a way to liberate herself, to — in his words — "tell the world the truth about her life, the distress she felt, and the ambitions she nurtured.
"She felt somehow that if she was able to explain her story to the people, her people, they could truly understand her before it was too late. 'Let them be my judge,'" she said.
The Princess' cooperation in the book remained a secret from all but a select few involved in the project.
Enter Dr Colthurst, a long-time friend of Diana. Acting as a proxy for Morton, the surgeon visited Kensington Palace armed with a tape recorder and pages of typed questions for the Princess. Over six secret interview sessions, Diana recorded lengthy, stream-of-consciousness responses that offered a glimpse inside her life as a senior royal, her crumbling marriage, and the machinations of the royal 'system'.
Diana: Her True Story was published in 1992, and became a bestseller.
The Palace firmly denied Princess Diana was involved in the book, as did Morton and the Princess herself. It wasn't until after Diana's death in a car accident in Paris in 1997, that Morton confirmed her as his primary source for the book and (controversially) released a new edition of the book, complete with transcripts from her smuggled recordings.
These are some of the key parts of her story.
Princess Diana's wedding was "the worst day" of her life.
The July 1981 wedding of Prince Charles and Princess Diana celebrated the so-called "romance of the century". But the bride later told Morton, "I don't think I was happy. I never tried to call it off, in the sense of really doing that, but I think [it was] the worst day of my life."
In the lead-up to event, Diana said she developed a growing suspicion about the Prince's relationship with his friend, Camilla Parker-Bowles (who he ultimately married in 2005), fuelled by the discovery of a bracelet he'd engraved for her with the letters G and F in an apparent nod to their nicknames for each other: Gladys and Fred.
"So I went upstairs, had lunch with my sisters who were there, and said: 'I can't marry him. I can't do this. This is absolutely unbelievable,'" Diana told Morton.
"They were wonderful and said: 'Well, bad luck, Duch [her childhood nickname], your face is on the tea towels so you're too late to chicken out."
Princess Diana struggled with an eating disorder.
Princess Diana told Morton that just a week after her engagement to Prince Charles she became consumed by bulimia.
"My husband put his hand on my waistline and said: 'Oh, a bit chubby here, aren't we?' and that triggered off something in me — and the Camilla thing, I was desperate, desperate," she told Morton. "I remember the first time I made myself sick. I was so thrilled because I thought this was the release of tension."
Princess Diana had nightmares about Camilla.
According to Morton's transcripts, the Princess' honeymoon period was so plagued by suspicion about her husband's fidelity that Camilla was a fixture of her dreams.
"At night, I dreamt of Camilla the whole time. I was obsessed by Camilla totally," she reportedly said. "I didn’t trust Charles — thought every five minutes he was ringing her up, asking how to handle his marriage."
Her mistrust was fuelled, in part, by the discovery of a set of cufflinks Camilla had gifted to Charles. Cufflinks he chose to wear on their honeymoon.
"Two Cs entwined like the Chanel ‘C’. Got it. One knew exactly. So I said, ‘Camilla gave you those, didn’t she?’ He said, ‘Yes, so what’s wrong? They’re a present from a friend.’ And boy, did we have a row. Jealousy, total jealousy. And it was such a good idea, the two ‘C’s – but it wasn’t that clever," the Princess told Morton.
Princess Diana had self-harmed.
The Princess told Morton that she had made five attempts on her life after marrying Prince Charles. The first took place at Sandringham Palace in January 1982 when she was three months pregnant with her first child, Prince William.
The Queen was reportedly among the first on the scene, and was "horrified, physically shaking with the shock of what she had witnessed", Diana told Morton.
The parts she left out...
As Morton acknowledged, there were parts of the story that Princess Diana omitted.
"While she raged about her husband’s infidelity, she hid the fact that she’d enjoyed a long love affair with Major James Hewitt from 1986 until 1991, as well as a brief dalliance in 1989 with her old friend James Gilbey," Morton wrote.
Knowing this, Morton speculated whether she was simply hoping to avoid blame for what part she played the failure of the marriage.
It was, after all, her story. Her version. Her truth.
"It was one of Diana's most enduring and probably intriguing qualities," Morton wrote, "that no matter how close her friends thought they were to her she always held something back."
If you are thinking about suicide or experiencing emotional distress, help is available. Please call Lifeline on 13 11 14.
For support and resources about dealing with eating disorders, contact The Butterfly Foundation on 1800 33 4673.
Feature image: Getty.
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