A man who posed as his female colleague over email has said the experience taught him it is “impossible” for professional women to get the respect they deserve.
Martin Schneider was 25 and working for a career services firm in Pennsylvania when he found himself dealing with a “rude” and “dismissive” client.
He realised – due to shared inbox – that he had been signing off his emails as co-worker, Nicole Hallberg.
“It was Nicole he was being rude to, not me. So out of curiosity I said ‘Hey this is Martin, I’m taking over this project for Nicole,’ Schneider said in a Twitter thread.
Apparently there was an “immediate improvement” with the client’s behaviour – despite the same techniques and advice.
As a man, Schneider received a positive reception and the client thanked Schneider for suggestions and responded promptly.
“The only difference was that I had a man’s name now,” he said.
As an experiment, the pair continued to switch names on their email signatures for two weeks.
"I signed all client emails as Nicole. She signed as me...I was in hell. Everything I asked or suggested was questioned. Clients I could do in my sleep were condescending. One asked if I was single," Schneider said.
Listen: Kate Ellis: on a campaign trail with a baby under your arm.
As a man, Nicole "had the most productive week of her career".
"I wasn't any better at the job than she was, I just had this invisible advantage," said Schneider.
In an article for Medium, Nicole Hallberg said they went to their boss but he didn't believe them.
"He actually said ‘There are a thousand reasons why the clients could have reacted differently that way. It could be the work, the performance… you have no way of knowing’," she said.
Schneider said it was a "shocking" discovery and Hallberg has since quit her job.
"For her [Hallberg], she was used to it. She just figured it was part of her job," Schneider said.
The incident happened years ago and the company has since changed owners.
"I don't think of myself as 'the good guy' in this story," Schneider told Mamamia.
"I always knew misogyny and sexism were real just from listening to women. But I didn't realise or maybe underestimated the extent until it was in my face.
"I've heard a lot of women say 'why can't men just believe us when we tell them about these things' and I think that is a valid criticism."
Top Comments
Uggh this makes me so mad. I too experience this frequently in my line of work as an architect. The difference in the way i am spoken to compared to my male counterpart (we have the same qualification) is completely frustrating and deflating. The more awareness we can bring to this issue the better!
This is a huge issue in the Australian workplace. I have experienced it to a much greater degree here than in the United States. Those who dismiss it are privileged to have never had to experience it.
So had she had issues with the clients before hence the reasoning for their reaction?
I think the history of interaction would be more of a factor than the gender.
Try crying at work Martin as Martin and see how much sympathy and support you get.
Yep, since we are working on anecdotal evidence though I would prefer something more substantial. I worked as client support in a six person team evenly divided between the sexes.
If we switched emails and the client thought I was JP (female) or AM (male) I know I'm going to get a hard time since they are both absolutely terrible and incredibly rude at client service and I always hear thank God, I got you, not JP or AM. Their sex was irrelevant.
Again lets blame the woman things happening, did you not read what they did? Unfortunately so many males are in denial or have a blind spot around this type of situation., because, they aren't often able to be objective about what is happening.This often is what happens in companies that have high female employee turnover rates.
Or It can depend on what field they are in.
I do suggest that things might have been different if they had met the client(s) face to face. But having worked in predominantly male fields most of my life, as a woman you often have to work twice as hard to get the same amount of recognition. That shouldn't be happening, but unfortunately things like this happen, but the losers in this scenario are the company and the client, yes it's frustrating for the employee, but it is clear that she is getting little to no support from those who are paid to back her.
What has that got to do with it.?
This is why in my experience in HR, the culture of the company is what makes the difference. It's good to see that the men are still using the whole lets get down and dirty in the school yard nonsense, which is sad that most women have been waiting for the whole macho culture of the work environment to change. Just cos a female is either on the end of the phone, or computer why do you need to be so combative.
It isn't about who can make the other cry, it is about expecting to be treated with dignity and respect and on a level playing field. Obviously you don't know what these mean.
The boys club attitude needs to change. God knows how much money in lost revenue, occurs because of this, because men don't want to share their toys.