So many of us strive for perfection. I believe for many of us, it’s an innate desire within us, whether we’d like to admit to it or not.
I am proud to say that I am the perfect mother. I have a perfect husband who is likewise, a perfect father. We have a perfect marriage. So naturally, we have perfect children and a perfect family.
Before you pass a quick judgement on me, let me explain further.
Perfect can be defined as having all the required or desirable elements, qualities or characteristics; as good as it is possible to be. Absolute; complete.
Why am I a perfect mother? I’m perfect because in the six years that I have been blessed to hold this title, I have failed again, and again, and again. I have made more mistakes that I can possibly total to this day. I have been irritable and impatient due to exhaustion and weariness. I have seen sides of myself that need so much correction, that leave me feeling humbled at the numerous situations I have found myself in.
But with that said, as many times as I have failed, I have gotten right back up. I have dusted myself off, looked myself in the mirror and prayed to God that each of those falls made me a better mother. I have turned my life, my heart, my complete existence over to the constant thought of each and every decision I make and its effect on my children, our family. I never knew I was capable of the immense love I could hold until the day they placed my daughter on my chest. It was possibly the most overwhelming moment of my lifetime. Right then and there, I was forever changed.
I know that despite the number of mistakes I’ve made and the mistakes I’m bound to make in the future, my love as a mother is perfect. My love for my children isn’t capable of ever faltering or, for that matter, ever diminishing. My love for my children is never-ending and has no flaws to be found within it. A mother’s love for her children, without argument, is perfect.
Why is my husband a perfect father? He changes diapers. He does the dishes. He gives the babies their baths. He brushes teeth and combs hair. He dresses kids in the morning and gets their jammies on them in the evening. He ties and reties shoelaces. He cooks meals. He rubs heads to sleep. He sleeps on hardwood floors beside toddler beds just in case the scary monster comes back. He watches Dora the Explorer more times than any adult should. Basically, when he is not at work, he is in Daddy mode. 24 hours a day, 365 days a year (ok, maybe for the exception Sundays during football season).
Should he do a lot of those things? Sure. Does he want to do a lot of those things, day in and day out, even when he’s sick or sleep deprived? No. But… he does them anyway. And the majority of the time, he does them without complaint. He gives his family everything he can, but mainly he gives us himself.
My husband would walk across fire to the ends of the earth for our children, without hesitation. Yes, he is the perfect father.
Why is my marriage perfect? Our marriage has been put to the test more times than I can say I would have liked. And I am no fool to believe that it’s not done being tested. Throughout these tests, there have been numerous times it would have been easier to give up, to give in and well, call it a day. There has been hundreds of times in the past decade that my husband and I have pulled ourselves out of ruts so deep, it was hard to even imagine a light at the end of the tunnel. We’ve fought hard but thankfully, we’ve loved even harder. Most days I drive him absolutely nuts and he can agitate me like no other, but I can’t picture a day without him beginning it or a night without him ending it.
It may possibly be one of the most comforting feelings in this world to know he loves me completely, flaws and all. He loves me as much as he knows how to love. And for that, I very well may be one of the luckiest women on this planet.
Yes, our marriage is perfect because our love has outlasted and overcome what the world says it shouldn’t and very well couldn’t. Our love for one another is indeed perfect.
Why are our children perfect? My children fight (OK, they battle one another), they throw temper-tantrums, they complain about some things that they shouldn’t and every day they need more than one (or two) gentle reminders on things they should have handled correctly the first time. However, their resiliency and innocent love is captivating. Their sincere empathy, in my opinion, is why this world is still here, still continuing on. I’m not sure at what point in our childhood, teens or adulthood that we lose that kind of love, forgiveness, endurance and ultimately, childlike faith.
My children… they’re human. They make mistakes. But… yes, they are their own perfection. When I look into each of their eyes, I could get lost in their ultimate love and endless wonder. I encourage my son and daughters to be big dreamers. To think the impossible. To go after the impossible. I know that if I teach them to believe enough in themselves and never lose that, they will be able to accomplish anything in this world.
And lastly, why is our family perfect? I have thanked and praised God everyday that He had our plan, our perfect plan, laid out so carefully, so divinely, that no matter what this world has thrown at us or will continue to battle our family with, we will stand strong. We will stand together, and not if, but when we are brought to our knees again, we will turn and wait patiently for once again, the One who has turned each and every hardship and battle into a magnificent blessing.
Find your perfect. Strive for your perfection. Will I ever reach the world’s standards of perfection as a mother and wife? No. Will my husband ever reach the world’s standards for perfection as a father or husband? Nope. Will our marriage and family and children meet those worldly standards for perfection? It’s safe to say “no.” So, as you can see, your definition of perfect and my definition of perfect may slightly differ. I have such a gratified feeling that I have found my perfection that I have wanted since I was a little girl. I’m grateful that each day as I slip and make my mistakes, I’m reminded in some fashion of who I want to be, what I want to create and what my purpose is while on this earth.
But I can say one thing: I wouldn’t trade our perfect for any other perfect in this life.
This post first appeared on the Huffington Post and has been edited and published here with full permission.
Top Comments
my head hurts reading it
The article was a puzzle to begin. The notion of someone claiming multiple perfections had me curious.
Then I began to smile at the reality as I read forward. It was a delight to see that raising a family fitted the stereotype perfectly rather than being blissful perfection in itself. The comments about the willingness of the husband to do what he does for the kids/family/her was very positive. A lot of modern blokes do kick in like him (and me!).
But spare us all the blaming of some phoney heavenly being for what we achieve in life. She could have easily put all her happiness and joy down to the tooth fairy or Easter bunny or, to be more seasonally correct, Santa Claus.
This failure to link one's achievements to oneself and the skills and talents we hold within worries me. Religions and spiritual beliefs do hold some people together but they are people who are often too weak to accept responsibility or respect.