BY ANONYMOUS
Three months ago, this Anonymous writer shared the heartbreaking story of how her husband left her shortly before the birth of their second child.
This is the second part of her story. It’s about what’s happened since, in the months after they welcomed their new baby.
The first blog I wrote was less than a week after Jeremy* told me our marriage was over. He had met someone else and it was less than 5 weeks until our daughter was due. I can still remember our conversation word for word, like it is burned into my memory. In fact, I can remember everything about that weekend.
It’s funny but Jeremy and I, along with my cousin and her husband went to a taping of “Before the Game” the night before, and I still haven’t been able to watch an episode since. I keep associating it with that weekend. One of my goals will be to watch an episode before the year is out. Might sound frivolous but I’m still only at the baby steps stage.
In the last 12 weeks Jeremy and I have experienced the highest of highs and the lowest of lows together. The 2 days before I was due to have Lily by a scheduled c-section, I found myself crying nonstop. I cried at the post office, in front of the lolly pop lady at Ted’s school, out to lunch with Jeremy and even at my booking in appointment at the hospital.
The midwife kept looking at me suspiciously and I’m sure I was “red flagged.” I think that I had put so much focus on Lily’s impending birth that I knew that once she was here I could no longer put off the inevitable and start my new life as a single Mum to 2 kids. I had been in a holding pattern for the previous 5 weeks, almost unwilling to face reality.
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Thank you for sharing your story. My husband is moving out next week, the week our third child is due, giving me 2 weeks notice. He doesn't plan to be at the birth, has gone back on our original plans when he told me he wanted to go 3 months ago, and will not be giving me enough money that combined with my income will meet mine and the kids basic needs, and I mean roof, heating, food and nappies. I feel shit, but there is hope in your story.
Before you blamers get on here it took both of us to make the baby. I can cope with him wanting to go but not his timing or lack of support. Given his problems I know long term my life might actually be easier (god knows how I am going to manage short term), but I am gutted, I thought better of him than to behave as he is, to sacrifice his own children's needs, and wish he would let me or someone else help him rather than do this to us all.
I'm sorry you are going through these hard times. However, I'm curious to know before you got pregnant how was your relationship with your husband? did he demonstrated he was a happily in love with you? did you love him? did you see any troubling issues in your marriage? I do know of a similar story but I never felt bad for the ex wife as she selfishly calculated the pregnancy knowing the husband did not love her nor wanted any more children. Once he left her pregnant she was victimizing her self but then later realized she was the one that started all this as she knew he no longer loved her and wanted out of the marriage but her blindness and selfishness got the best of her. And he left her but never abandoned his kids. He is a great father. She still resents him bc she doesn't want to admit he never loved her. I think the only way we can grow as human beings is accepting where we went wrong instead of blaming the other person, it takes 2 to tango a relationship is about 2 not 1. I can't judge the guy for leaving you as only God knows what was happening in side close doors in your marriage before he finally put an end to that relationship that to me seems that there was no love. The truth hurts but if we are mature enough to see it we can avoid continuing to hurt our selves.