'I cried every day.' Penny McNamee on the relentless school bullying she experienced.

Last week I shared the story of my experience with bullying at high school on my Instagram — and the response was overwhelming. 

Hundreds of parents shared stories of their children being bullied and the actions they took to help them. In light of those responses, I felt compelled to tell my full story in the hope it may help some parents and kids who find themselves in a similar situation.

When I was in Year 9 at a private girls' school, I was relentlessly bullied by three girls.

For the two years prior, they had been my closest friends. Then one day they decided to stop talking to me.

I remember the day vividly. I walked out to the quadrangle at recess and sat on the bench where we always met, waiting for my three friends to join me. But on this day they walked straight past, flicking their eyes over at me and sniggering. I laughed, thinking they were messing around. I called out in a jovial manner, "hey! Where are you going?" But they didn't respond. They simply walked away, laughing. I sat very still, confused and wondering what was going on.

That was the beginning of a six-month campaign by these girls to isolate and humiliate me. It was like a sport for them.

Watch: 1 in 4 school kids have been bullied. Here's what you can do if your child or someone you know is a victim. Post continues after video.

The most difficult part about bullying, particularly amongst girls, is that it is often silent. It goes unseen by teachers or parents. These girls would move to the other side of the bus when I got on. Turn their backs on me when I walked past. Whisper and laugh when I entered a classroom. Freeze me out of conversations. It was torture, yet no one could see it. I thank God social media didn't exist back then, because at least at 3pm I could escape their torment and go home to my loving parents and siblings. (Another excellent reason to delay smartphones and social media until late high school!).

I tried to explain to my parents what was happening, but it was difficult. I wasn't being called names, I wasn't being physically abused, I wasn't the victim of vicious rumours. But I was absolutely being bullied and I felt trapped and hopeless every single day.

I was a naturally happy kid, always able to find joy and laughter in my day. So you can imagine my parents' concern when their joy-filled, 14-year-old girl couldn't smile anymore. In fact, she cried every day for six months and dreaded getting out of bed.

My parents listened, they took me seriously and they gave solid advice. They spoke to the school and explained what was happening. The school tried to help, but really, what could they do? Expel students for not speaking to me? Suspend them for turning their backs? There are limits to the power schools have to deal with these issues.

And so, after watching their happy girl disappear into herself, my parents realised they were the only ones with the power to help me and pulled me out of the school. This was difficult for them as they had been entrenched in the school community for over 12 years. My older sisters had attended the school from years 7-12, my younger sister was about to begin, I had cousins in older grades and cousins in younger grades, my mum coached school netball teams and my dad was the President of the P&F.

It felt big and drastic.

When I rang my mum yesterday to tell her I was writing this article, I asked how she felt at the time. Did she admit to other parents why I was leaving? Was she humiliated?

"No I wasn't humiliated!" she cried. "I was furious! And I made no secret of the fact that we were pulling you out because you were being bullied."

"Your wellbeing and happiness were our absolute priority and I couldn't care less what anyone else thought."

Gosh, I love my mum.

I started at a new school, which was co-ed and a different denomination to the one I was raised in. It was a big change for me and my parents, but it was the greatest gift.

I found beautiful, inclusive, creative friends who are still my friends today. On my very first day I met a cute boy… whom I married years later (he's still cute, by the way).

Penny McNamee with Matt Tooker in high school (left), who is now her husband (right). Image: Supplied.

I landed the lead role in the school musical, which led me to pursue a career in acting.

Changing schools gave me the opportunity to start afresh, in a new environment where no one knew me and I could be whoever I wanted to be.

Looking back, I see a desperate child who didn't have the power to change her situation. The school didn't have the power to change the situation either. But yesterday, I cried as I thanked my mum and dad for advocating for 14-year-old me by pulling me out of my school.

I'll be forever grateful that they did. 

Feature image: Supplied/Instagram @penny.mcnamee. 

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