6 health problems that can be fixed with an orgasm

Image: We’ll definitely have what Sally’s having.

Finally, some health news with a happy ending (well, hopefully more than one): orgasms can help fix some of life’s most common health complaints.

Let’s all take a moment to high five ourselves, shall we?

This news only serves as proof that the various myths about masturbation – that it causes blindness, hairy palms and insanity, for instance – are total bollocks.

1. Period pain

The monthly sensation of being punched in the guts is one of the least fun aspects of life as a woman. So it’s only fair that a natural method of relieving cramps happens to be one of life’s most enjoyable activities. Beats hugging a hot water bottle in the foetal position, that’s for sure.

When you have an orgasm your body releases a chemical called oxytocin, along with certain endorphins, which act like a free, all-natural answer to Panadol. And an effective one at that; a study by famed ‘sexologist’ and author Beverly Whipple found that when women reach climax through masturbation, their pain tolerance and pain detection thresholds rise by over 70%.

So next time you feel that unmistakable dull ache, you know what to do.

2. Headaches

The pain-alleviating benefits of orgasms don’t just apply to cramps – they can also lessen the thud of a headache. Yes, yes, it’s all very ironic considering headaches (real or not) are perceived as a common excuse used by women to not have sex. If you really don’t feel like getting busy, don’t do it – all we’re saying is, don’t let your sore head deter you.

 3. Insomnia

Keep counting sheep all you like, but orgasms can be a much quicker (and less monotonous) way to help get you to sleep. Once again, you can thank that surge of oxytocin – it’s known to influence sleep processes, as well as ease tension in your body. Additional fun fact: Women’s bodies produce more oxytocin post-climax than men.

 4. Stress

At this point, we should probably just name this post “Hooray for Oxytocin!” It causes your pituitary gland to release endorphins, which make you feel content, relaxed, and therefore less on-edge. Orgasms also bring down your levels of the primary stress hormone, cortisol.

No, you mightn’t be able to use the orgasm treatment at the office (although points for trying…), but it could be the perfect way to wind down after a hectic day.

5. Bad skin

Orgasms also perform wonders for your skin. The reduction and balancing out of your body’s hormones keeps your complexion clear, while the increased blood and oxygen circulation will have you glowing – there’s a reason Nars named their best selling blush Orgasm. Orgasms also release dehydroepiandrosterone (try saying that one ten times out loud) – also known as DHEA – which promotes healthy skin.

6. Infection

Add this to your ‘reasons to have sex’ mental checklist: doing the no-pants dance even once a week can help keep your body healthy. A 1999 study by Wilkes University found that people who had sex once or twice a week had higher levels of immunoglobulin A, which is an antibody that fights off infection. That’s not an excuse to slack off on your safe sex precautions, by the way.

So. What are you waiting for? If you need a bit of help getting over the line (we all do sometimes), these toys can help you.

A big thanks to Lelo for their help with this article.

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