Do you know what your kids are doing online? Are you sure about that?

By LISA ALMOND

“I saw it on Tumblr, so I sent a Snapchat to show them. They tagged me on Instagram and I messaged them on Kik to say it was hilarious. Originally it came from Facebook but I Tweeted it too.”

So parents – do you have any idea what I am talking about?

No?

You should.

You really should.

It’s social media and unless you’ve been hiding under a rock the size of the twittersphere you’ll know what I’m talking about.

Social media is huge. You probably have at least a few accounts yourself. And if you work in a position that requires use of social media you are probably all over Facebook, Twitter and maybe Google+, but do you know what your kids are doing online? Do you know how they are using chat apps and social media? Do you even know WHAT apps they are using?

I constantly hear parents use comments like:

“What’s that snap app?”

“No I don’t use social media.”

“Where did you hear that, on Facebook?”

And my favourite:

“Oh my kid doesn’t use social media.”

Just FYI, you should know that this post is sponsored by Bully Stoppers. But all opinions expressed are 100% authentic and written in the author’s own words.

Think back to when you were a teenager. Did you do things your parents didn’t approve of? Even if they set rules about them. Even if you KNEW they wouldn’t approve.

Are you nodding?

Even if you haven’t given your child a smart phone I am 99% positive that they are still on some form of social media, regardless of the age limits assigned to them. After all, have you ever been checked to make sure you’re over 13 on Facebook? Nope.

All they need to do is tick a box or change a 2001 to a 2000 when they put in their birthday when they sign up. That’s 10 times easier than scratching a number of a licence and changing it, like the good ol’ days.

I started studying media and using online tools over ten years ago. Currently I’m studying my Masters in the same discipline and it has been fascinating to see how teenagers and tweens are utilising social media.

What fascinates me even more is how parents THINK their children are using social media.

Some think that their kids aren’t even using social media. They’re wrong. They are.

Those that realise kids use it think that they are using social media the same way as their parents. They’re wrong too. Kids are doing it differently.

Some parents I talk to say they are scared of social media. They’re scared of cyber bullying. They’re scared of their kids talking to adults they aren’t meant to. They’re scared for privacy.

These are all perfectly legitimate things to be scared of because, unfortunately, incidents surrounding these things happen every day.

But hiding away, or banning social media, is not going to help.

Social media is not a fad. Maybe specific sites or apps are fads but social media, on a whole, is not going anywhere anytime soon. Definitely not in the time it will take for your child to pass through their teen years.

The first thing we need to accept is that social media is here to stay, no matter how much you hate Facebook or Snapchat. Your individual dislike for this phenomenon will not overpower millions of voices throughout the world that love it and continue to use it every day.

So how do we handle it?
We tell kids all the time that if they want to understand something they need to educate themselves on it.

And I don’t mean you need to educate your children about social media. They know social media. They know it back-to-front and inside-out.

You need to educate YOURSELF.

You need to understand these apps. How is Snapchat different from KIK? Why is AskFM inappropriate? What is Whatsapp?

What about how they communicate to each other on these apps? There’s no grammar police found in messaging apps.

“FFS I’m OTW.”

“JSYK ILY”

“SRSLY lets meet IRL”

“FYEO IYKMIM”

Does it look like I’m writing a different language? I’m not. I’m talking social media language.

This is the language your kids are using. The language YOU need to understand.

If we want to combat problems on social media, first we need to understand social media.

The best way to understand social media is to use it.

Join Facebook, get an Instagram account and actually SEE what your kids are doing.

How easy is it to talk to people you don’t know? People on the other side of the world? People who may not be other kids?

Answer – super easy.

Once you understand social media then you can really start educating your children on how to use it properly. Then you can start setting rules.

And in the ultimate irony; the easiest way to talk to your kids about social media and helping them through any issues they have with it is to keep the lines of communication open. All lines, including social media.

Together we can get kids talking to us about social media and the concerns they are having. But first we need to understand what they are talking about with each other and how they are talking to each other.

How do you monitor what your kids are doing online? 

Click through our gallery of apps that your kids definitely shouldn’t be using…

Bullying is a serious issue for everyone in a school community. It can happen anywhere, any time, and can have devastating consequences. Bully Stoppers supports students, parents, teachers and principals in working together to make sure schools are safe and supportive places, where everyone is empowered to help reduce the incidence of bullying and cyberbullying in Victorian schools.

Most kids won’t talk about being cyberbullied. And if you don’t know you can’t help. So visit the Bully Stoppers website to get the tools and resources you need to help your child deal with cyberbullying.

www.education.vic.gov.au/bullystoppers