rogue

A salute to anyone who's owned the world's most boring yet hectically reliable car, the Toyota Corolla.

Can I start this article by explaining that this is NOT an ad for Toyota, even though it may seem like it at times. I do not currently own a Toyota nor am I in the market for one, but damn do I wish I still had my little red devil.

When 20-something-year-old me was in the market for my very first car, a friend of mine who we shall call Deb, because that's her name, said "I'm selling my old girl if you want to check her out!"

For the princely sum of $4,000 (well actually $3,999 because that got you into a lower bracket and so you paid lower rego fees, thanks Deb), I purchased a 1982 KE70 Toyota Corolla which looked very much like the one in the pic above.

Planning to buy your first car? Learn these money-saving tips to help you start. Post continues after video.


Video via Mamamia.

It was technically red but could also pass as slightly orange, and the colour of the boot was not the same as the rest of the car.

It was that beautiful boxy '80s vibe that was surpassed by curves in the '90s, and I swear you could have driven that thing into just about anything and it wouldn't suffer the slightest dent.

It used bugger all fuel, had done some insane amount of kilometres, and had the dullest interior of any car before or since, but holy heck did it just keep going despite my lack of car knowledge or care for its upkeep.

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I honestly can't remember ever getting it serviced in the years I owned it, but a decade after I sold it (for $2,000 if you're wondering) I saw that car, cruising down the freeway in Adelaide, still going strong. It must have done 500,000km by this stage.

So it was with delight that, after a few bevvies on New Year's 2023/24 and some follow-up enquiries, I found out that many others can also claim the Corolla as their first car – or if not first, their first love – and so we shared stories of how little care they required, how indescribably boring they are and just how we all longed to have them back in our possession.

It made me realise I am part of a completely not exclusive and very beige club: the Collective of Corolla Lovers.

On Facebook, we shared our love stories.

Joanne explained how her Corolla cravings had kept her behind the wheel of a Toyota for decades, even handing down the car to her kid.

It can be a craving. Image: Facebook.

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It seems handing down a full Corolla is pretty standard because they just never die.

It can be a family heirloom. Image: Facebook.

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And it was almost law that you named her, no matter her colour, shape or year, the same name.

It can be given a name like a pet. Image: Facebook.

Many described their Corolla colour as brownish, brownish/reddish or poo brown. Bec revealed that her Corolla colour matched their fence, and Linda's, her Morialta Adelaide brown school uniform.

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Lauren explained that what started out as her red 1985 Corolla sedan quickly became her pink 1985 Corolla sedan after taking it through a car wash!

We shared our collective neglect of this iconic yet wallflower-like vehicle. Megan explained how hers is still going despite having the driver's door amputated in a reversing incident.

Jo described hers as the "perfect getaway car" because it definitely does not stand out in a crowd, and Colleen had what is possibly THE most '90s moment in hers.

It can even make you (almost) sh*t your pants. Image: Facebook.

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It's not just an Aussie thing either. Our international friends are just as enamoured with the Corolla as we are in all its dull glory.

This Craigslist ad went viral in the US a few years ago for the boldly accurate description of just how reliable and yet completely boring the Toyota Corolla is.

A Craigslist ad for a 1999 Toyota Corolla. Image: Google.

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Here's the full ad, which was posted about six years ago. It's been taken down now but still lives on in Wayback Machine.

A Craigslist ad for a 1999 Toyota Corolla. Image: Google.

Amongst all this Corolla love was a group of irritated Ford Laser fans who insisted that their car was the more reliable and more boring version, but I think we can all agree that the Corolla will be the most uneventful, uninspiring yet fondly remembered car you will ever own.

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I'll leave you with Fiona's Corolla history, and just how special these bland, beige and yet sparkly unicorn cars can be to their owners, both past and present.

And it can even make one of your most important days happen. Image: Facebook.

Long live the Toyota Corolla!!!

Feature Image: Wikipedia/Facebook.

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