'Two of my kids have gone completely no-contact with me. Now I know why.'

If an adult child decides to cut their parent out of their life, they probably have a pretty good reason for it. No-contact — also known as estrangement — is rarely ever a snap decision but can leave a parent feeling shame, guilt, hurt and anger.

But for a lot of parents, it can still come out of the blue.

That's what happened for mother-of-four Crystal realised when two of her sons decided to estrange themselves from her.

Watch: Becoming a mother of a son. Post continues below.

"My son came to me and said, 'Mum, if you don't get help, I'm not gonna be able to have you in my life anymore, I'm gonna have to go no-contact with you'," Crystal explained in her TikTok video.

"That shook me to the core of who I am. I couldn't understand what he was saying, I was dumbfounded, we were always close, he was always happy with me, I didn't know there was a problem, I didn't recognise it and so it took me by surprise and it hurt me."

Currently, two of her children have gone no-contact with her for six months. But instead of hiding behind a veil of guilt and not doing anything to solve the situation, she now sees their decision as a "blessing".

"My sons going no contact with me has been one of the most difficult things that has ever happened to me in my life, but it's also been a blessing — please hear me out here," Crystal explained in another TikTok video.

@fiftiesrediscovery

Replying to @donyerambus

♬ original sound - Fabulous fifties!!

"It has given me the time and space to be able to look at my own unhealed trauma and figure out where my own toxicity is and how I can improve myself, how I can heal myself and become a better version of myself," she continued. "There's always something to learn no matter what we go through in life, there's always something we can learn about ourselves."

Crystal now works as a life coach, working with parents and adult children dealing with no-contact and low-contact.

Speaking to Mamamia, Crystal explained she now realises what she did wrong in their relationship and takes accountability for that.

"I was unable to emotionally regulate myself and often looked to my children for emotional support and validation. This exhausted them because it's not their job to manage my emotions," she told Mamamia.

"I was also passive-aggressive and sometimes manipulative to try to get my way. I leaned on my youngest when his father and I divorced. I was supposed to be there for him, not the other way around."

In one of her viral videos, she explains the five reasons why she now honours her children's no-contact decision:

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#nocontact #healthatshit #healing #spiritualawakening #mentalhealth #intergenerationaltrauma #estrangedparents #estranged

♬ original sound - Fabulous fifties!!

Thousands of parents and children have since flooded the comments section, thanking Crystal for speaking up about her experience.

"As someone that went no contact with mum, if my mum said what you said and meant it, it would have immediately healed the relationship," one person wrote. "I'm proud of you for being honest and doing the hard work."

A parent commented the following: "I admire you. My son went no contact and it's easily the most painful thing I've ever been through. Today I realised it's not about me. I also respect his wishes and recognise his pain."

A third person wrote: "I am in no contact with my mum and if she ever even acknowledged half of the things that you did in this video that would be a step in the right direction. I'm proud of you for respecting their boundaries."

While she doesn't know if her sons will ever change their mind about the estrangement, Crystal said she is trying to see the positive in the situation.

"No contact can be a gift of space to allow both parties the time to work on healing. If we choose to look at it this way, there can be healing all around," she said.

Feature Image: TikTok @fiftiesrediscovery.