couples

Is it normal that... My husband will only let me see a female doctor?

When Jo Abi left the house to go to the doctor, this was the last thing she expected her husband to say. Now she needs your help on what to do next.

I’ve been having some female problems lately. We don’t need to go into the details, suffice to say it got to a stage when I needed to see a doctor.

“Just make sure you see a female doctor,” my husband yelled out as I walked out the door.

“Very funny,” I yelled back, waving.

Minutes later a text message showed up on my phone:

SERIOUSLY JO. I’D BE MORE COMFORTABLE IF YOU SAW A FEMALE DOCTOR.

My response:

THAT’S RIDICULOUS HON. THEY ARE DOCTORS. IT DOESN’T MATTER.

His reply:

I’D JUST BE MORE COMFORTABLE IF YOU SAW A WOMAN

Me:

WHY??????

Him:

BECAUSE I’D JUST PREFER IT.

I stopped texting. I thought he was being ridiculous. They are doctors. Who cares if I see a male or female doctor? I have a medical problem I need addressed and my favourite doctor happens to be a male. What’s the big deal?

It turns out my favourite doctor wasn’t in that day so I requested ‘first available female’ to avoid an argument. But I felt silly.

When I got home he asked if I’d seen a male doctor and I said no, but I was still upset. I asked him why he was so uncomfortable with the idea and after lots of going around in circles he eventually admitted that he can’t imagine any man looking at a woman “down there” and not being aroused. Even a doctor.

I pointed out that they are professionals. I reminded him of how many of them they probably see each day. I made the very valid point that female doctors could be aroused by vaginas too, but like male doctors, are professionals.

Plus, who cares?

All I want is for my very painful problem to be solved. To be honest, I don’t care what goes through the doctors minds as they treat me, just treat me.

My husband completely disagrees.

I told him I felt it was controlling of him to even make the suggestion and not only make the suggestion but then bombard me with texts to further pressure me into doing what makes him comfortable.

Who’s right? Do I have a right to be upset?

00:00 / ???