Just when you thought this election was boring, it became batshit crazy. If you didn’t watch the news over the weekend, you missed a lot of things such as this:
Nicely handled by Julia Gillard I thought. That man is an absolute bully and misogynist. Also borderline nuts.
After Channel 9 CEO David Gyngell was forced to apologise to the Prime Minister for the behaviour of Mark Latham (who has been hired by 60 Minutes to work as a ‘journalist’ covering the campaign for a report next week), The Punch’s David Penberthy delivered my favourite tweet of the week last night:
Speaking of firsts, this may be the first election campaign to feature a streaker:
Also on everyone’s minds this weekend has been the re-emergence of Rudd.
Christine Jackman is a senior writer for The Australian and author of the book about last election campaign, Inside Kevin07’. Exclusively for Mamamia, she has written her take on the the Kevin and Julia saga……will it ever end? Christine writes…..
Gillard & RuddThey’ve spent some time apart and it’s given them each a chance to reflect on all the good times they had together.
The separation forced them to recognise their respective strengths, those qualities they’d forgotten amid the backbiting, envy and outright contempt that familiarity breeds. And now, facing the annihilation of all the plans they’d made together, they’ve come to realise how much they need each other.
It could be an episode of Sex And the City. But right now, what Australia is witnessing is the Labor Party having “sex with the ex”.
And we all know it will end in tears.
We know because we’ve all been there. We know because breaking up is hard to do and we’ve made the same mistakes. The only difference is we’ve made them in private, or with a mercifully limited audience. We didn’t have Laurie Oakes and a cameraman in our boyfriend’s front yard with us when we lit that petrol-soaked pyre of football jerseys he asked us to return.
Christine JackmanEndless acres of newsprint and hours of broadcast time will be devoted in coming days to analysing how the reconciliation between Julia Gillard and Kevin Rudd happened and how it will affect the final two weeks of this election campaign.
But it’s quite simple, really. Breakups are all about power, and so is the Labor Party. And “sex with the ex” is all about one person (usually the slighted party) trying to re-assert their authority and value in the relationship after being deemed disposable. No prizes for working out who’s playing which role in this reunion. The problem is, once you’ve made up with your ex, it’s only a matter of time before those same annoying habits resurface, and he’s driving you crazy again with that precious little lecture about the detailed programmatic specificities for boiling the perfect egg to go with your morning cuppa.
It may be too late, but if cooler heads still prevail in Labor Party HQ, perhaps they should distribute some tips about surviving a breakup. Try these, for example, from Sandra Ann Miller’s “A Girlfriend’s Guide to Getting Over Him”:
Inside Kevin 07 written by Christine Jackman
I will not call him. No matter what good or bad news I think he should hear only from me, I will not call him. Even if I am convinced it will make me feel better, I will not call him. But I might get John Faulkner to call him.
I will not frequent the places I know she goes to, even if I went there first and like it better. I know going to such places will hurt more than it will help. Except any seat north of the Tweed with a margin of five percent or less. And maybe Macquarie. And Macarthur and Lindsay, but only if Mark asks really, really nicely.
I will not encourage or allow friends to do anything foolhardy, even with my best interest at heart. That includes talking to her when they see her in public to let her know she is a jerk and she’ll never do better than me. Oops, forgot to tell that to Chris Trevor.
I will screen all of my calls. I will get caller ID, if necessary, and put “private call block” on my phone. I will not answer the phone unless I know who it is. Especially if it’s Laurie Oakes.
“I will not look for signs that we will get back together. This includes asking the Magic-8 Ball or tarot card readers..” Or the plummeting two-party-preferred in this week’s Newspoll.
I will not hide under a rock, be humiliated or ashamed that this relationship ended. For all I know, this could be the best thing that ever happened to me. And I believe the wonderful stuff I deserve is on its way.. Like the keys to the Lodge. She hasn’t had time to move in there anyway.
Where’s your head with the campaign this week? Were you inspired by the Liberal party launch? What did you think of Mark Latham’s bully boy approach to ‘journalism’?
Top Comments
As if Latham's role wasn't bad enough how embarrassing is it that two of our major tv networks have morning show hosts as their front people for election night. No wonder the quality of political debate is so poor in this country.
I think Julie Gillard handled herself beautifully here, as she did on Q&A on Monday.
She's a remarkably intelligent, witty and natural person and when she is being herself she really shines.
I know that's a glowing thing to say but anyone who reads my posts will know I've had many negative things to say about her this election too but overall I find her a very impressive woman and I really hope she wins the election next weekend.
As for Mark Latham, he really needs to just piss off and retire - he's gone from crazy uncle to asshole bully.