“MAFS feud”.
Two words that have been floating around the ether for many, many moons.
And are we complaining?
Most certainly not.
In fact, no two words in the universe fill us with a greater sense of delight and we’re not even ashamed to admit it.
Watch: Things we say while watching MAFS. Post continues after video.
Yes, we know MAFS ended approximately 3000 years ago, but the contestants are still finding reasons to fight in the wilderness, away from the cameras.
Here, we dissect six (yes, six) Married At First Sight feuds we believe to be ongoing.
1. Martha vs Jules.
The first we bring you is between Martha, Queen of Feuds, and Jules, self-proclaimed Hater of Feuds.
In a plot twist no one saw coming last month, MAFS’ Martha Kalifatidis claimed Jules Robinson was actually the season’s villain, revealing that she bullied her and other cast members including Ines and Jess.
In a YouTube question and answer video, Martha hesitated before launching into a rant in which she said Jules was the sole reason there was “a divide” between the wives, not, you know, the fact that certain other contestants were cheating with their husbands. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.
During the season, Jules, 36, called Martha and Jessika Power, 'girls' and not 'women', and following the season, showed no remorse for the comments.
"I was just saying the way that you act, which everyone can relate to in the scene, it is childish, it is immature, it is b*tchy, it makes everyone uncomfortable," Jules told Who in April.
Oh but it didn't stop there.
Who recently reported that Jules hosted an exclusive MAFS pre-Logies party, inviting everyone from the show apart from Martha and Michael.
Ouch.
Then, Jules, who we repeat, absolutely hates a feud, referenced Martha's now-infamous run-in with Kochie in an Instagram story.
The photo included the caption: "Step on my dress and I will elbow you!"
She later claimed the caption wasn't a snide reference to Martha which we definitely, definitely believe.
2. Cyrell vs Liz.
This feud is so bitter, it's resulted in the unthinkable.
Cyrell and Liz have unfollowed each other on Instagram.
How did it get this bad, you ask?
Speaking on The Kyle and Jackie O Show, Cyrell cryptically revealed: “Words were said and people got upset.”
The “words” Cyrell was referring to were about a fake spinoff involving both reality stars, which seems like a pretty weird reason to fight if you ask us, but okay.
It all broke out after Elizabeth appeared on Today Extra to discuss a non-existent MAFS spin-off show that she literally knew nothing about.
During the interview, she hinted that Cyrell had started the false ‘rumour’.
“I don’t know. Erm, yeah, I just heard about it and I have no idea…” she told hosts Sonia Kruger and David Campbell.
When asked if she has been in contact with Cyrell about it, she responded: “There’s been a bit of talking that it’d be cool to do something… but nothing.”
~Cyclone Cyrell~ seemed pretty p*ssed.
“It’s pretty freaking hilarious that I get blocked [on Instagram]. I wasn’t the one who turned around and said they started a rumour,” she said on air.
Yikes.
This week, the feud showed no signs of slowing down during Cyrell's appearance on KIIS FM’s The Kyle & Jackie O Show.
“Look, I’m not fan of anybody that’s going to write an article and call me toxic,” the 30-year-old said, referencing a story Liz, 28, wrote for 9 Honey entitled: ‘How I learned to ditch toxic relationships’.
While her piece didn’t mention the fruit-bowl throwing contestant, it was pretty obvious who she was referring to.
“Going through the emotional roller-coaster that is the aftermath of MAFS, I’ve encountered an array of personalities,” Liz penned for the publication last month.
You can say that again.
3. Jess vs Dan.
Yes, the feud between MAFS’ Jessika Power and Dan Webb continues to play out after their now-infamous interview on Talking Married which saw their relationship break down on live national television.
Despite parting ways after that, they continue to trash talk each other in tabloid media, with Webb telling Daily Mail: “We met up and she explained her hurt and her heartbreak after I broke up with her.”
"I guess she still has some feelings there for me and the best way for her to deal with it was to slag me off."
Jess then hit back on Instagram, because of course she did.
"Lost the plot!" the 27-year-old said in an Instagram story with a screenshot of the original article.
"I'm 100 times happier without you," she continued, responding to Dan, 35. "End of story."
Jessika finished: "How many other washed-up cast members want to ride on my name this week?"
Something tells us these two won't be seeing eye-to-eye anytime soon.
4. Martha vs Jess and Ines.
Jess, who certainly isn't one to shy away from drama, appears to be locked in another feud with former pal Martha.
Ines is also involved somehow and it's all very confusing because we thought they were friends. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯.
Jess, who got drunk with Ines in activewear down the road from the Logies in one of the greatest stories to emerge from the entire night, told New Idea there was most definitely tension when they bumped into Martha later in the evening.
“I did actually say hello to [Martha]... but I wasn't rude to her and there was a situation that happened," Jess told the publication.
“If I was to stay and try play mediator [between her and Ines], it would have been a bigger problem... there was a lot of people that watched the show looking.
“The last thing we needed to do was cause a big spectacle."
Martha then addressed the clash in a 17-minute long YouTube video.
“We were walking back to go to the after-party and we bumped into Ines and Jessika.
“We have been speaking on Instagram and we’ve been messaging so I thought everything was sweet.
“So I walked up to them, they ignored me, then I was looking at Jess going ‘Hello?’ and she goes ‘Oh hi!'
“Then Ines did pretend to vomit on me.”
We shouldn't laugh.
(But we are).
5. Martha vs Kochie.
Look, we know Kochie isn't technically a MAFS contestant, but he might as well be given how invested he was in his post-Logies feud with Martha.
It all started on the red carpet when Martha allegedly elbowed Kochie aggressively in the ribs.
Regardless of the existence and/or extent of Martha’s elbowing, Kochie escalated the feud by sharing his version of events on national television with Samantha Armytage and Natalie Barr. As you do.
The Sunrise cast were reflecting on Logies night when Kochie said: “I’ve still got bruises in the ribs from the Married at First Sight woman who elbowed me on the way through.”
“The one with the dark hair?” Natalie Barr clarified. “She was fierce.”
Samantha Armytage then identified the unknown dark haired woman, explaining “someone’s saying Martha in my ear, I don’t know. Couldn’t pick her out of a line up. But my God did she get you in the ribs.”
“She had attitude,” Natalie Barr added.
A joke was then made about how you shouldn’t get in the way of a woman who wants her 15 minutes of fame, before Kochie interjected: “She’s quite short isn’t she”.
The bizarrely vicious Sunrise segment resulted in Martha responding on Instagram, calling the panel out for bullying her.
It was all pretty weird and we loved precisely every second of it.
6. Martha vs Billy.
Here's another rather unexpected clash.
Billy has no reason at all to hate Martha seeing as they spent two dinner parties together in total.
The former "husband" of Susie lashed out at Martha on social media after she posted a photo of herself endorsing an anti-bullying campaign.
Weird flex, but okay.
Late last month, the 27-year-old barista expressed his shock and disappointment that a company had chosen Martha to represent them.
“I saw that Martha was wearing these 'Hero' anti-bullying T-shirts and I really hope to God that this company didn't send her these shirts for her to represent them because that would be really stupid, really f**king stupid!' Billy raged.
“Why on earth would you put her as the face of anti-bullying?” he continued.
“Martha would attach her face to a bottle of poison if it furthered her career and improved her image.”
It is not known whether Martha responded to Billy's comments, but we can assume she probably did, thus bringing her list of MAFS-related nemeses to four.
While the six feuds above are perhaps the most prevalent, we can never be sure when a new one will pop up so we will of course remain on high alert.
Hopefully, the MAFS feud Gods will smile upon us and deliver one between John Aiken and a contestant.