11 years ago, Lily Collins thought she was in love. Her partner would call her a 'wh**e'.

Emily in Paris star Lily Collins opened up about a past 'toxic relationship' on the We Can Do Hard Things podcast last year.

"For me, my romantic toxic relationship was verbal and emotional abuse and being made to feel very small," she told the podcast. 

The actress shared uncomfortable details about what she endured and how it affects her to this day. 

"He would call me 'Little Lily'… and he'd use awful words about me in terms of what I was wearing and would call me a wh**e and all these things," she said. 

"There were awful words and then there were belittling words… I became quite silent and comfortable in silence and feeling like I had to make myself small to feel super safe."

The Emily in Paris star discussed how these experiences left her with anxiety and feelings of panic that even the past 11 years haven’t been able to completely erase, despite now being happily married to filmmaker Charlie McDowell, who she wed in 2021. 

Image: Getty.

"The situations are completely different 10 years ago to now. That panic is what I can still get triggered by," she said, in 2023. 

"Even if I'm in the most healthy relationship, there can be a moment that happens throughout the day where history comes back like that.

"It's like a millisecond, or shorter than a millisecond, and your gut reacts, your heart starts beating, and all of a sudden you're taken back to that moment where they said that thing to you 10 years ago, but you’re not in that situation now and that’s the trigger and it’s f–king hard. It’s awful."

The actress also spoke about her struggle with an eating disorder during this period. 

"When prey felt threatened, they made themselves as small as possible, possibly by not eating, by making themselves look as least juicy and enticing as possible and that’s where they felt the safest," she said. 

Collins said her relationship with her now-husband is worlds apart from this past relationship. 

"Now in my life, having my wonderful and supportive husband, we communicate and talk about so much," she explained. 

If this post brings up any issues for you, or if you just feel like you need to speak to someone, please call 1800 RESPECT (1800 737 732).

Feature Image: Getty. 

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