"They are always lifting each other up." What I've learnt raising two very different daughters.

My first daughter, Addison, entered the world bald and loud and stayed that way for a good six months (after that point, she was just loud).

My youngest daughter, Milla, emerged with a head full of dark brown hair and without anywhere near as much… volume. Instead, she offered more of a “Hi, I have arrived,” and then proceeded to quietly take in her surroundings. 

In many ways, my two daughters have stayed the same.

But when I say the same, I mean very different from one another. 

While their individuality is what I love the most about their personalities, needless to say it has taught me a lot! 

These are some of the most important lessons I’ve learnt.

1. Contrasting personalities means parenting differently.

Addison is still one to have her volume dial at maximum and on ‘repeat all’ because she is always talking. In fact, she never stops. Ever.

She is an encyclopedia of information, has an opinion on every topic and will share it unapologetically.

While bold with her views, she is also extremely empathetic to everyone and everything – so much so that when a daddy-long-legs spider that had been living in her room for weeks (who she also named) was inadvertently squished, well, she cried.

Addison is also very competitive – from board games and cartwheels to swimming – she will strategise, train intensely and aim high. She is also fiercely independent and has to do it all herself.

Milla is not as talkative, probably because she has learnt this is impossible when alongside her sister. Instead, she is a more of a go-with-the-flow kind of girl, a keen observer of those around her and what is transpiring. And when she does say something, well usually it is hilarious, witty, packs a punch and is totally worth the wait.

She gets along with everyone, isn’t bothered by much, is affectionate and kind, and is always smiling.

While their personalities make them... well, them, I have also learnt that these differences can be extremely frustrating and challenging to navigate as a parent, because what works for one never works for the other. 

Instead, I have to tailor to the individual and try new approaches which has meant loads of failures along the way.

2. They disagree on many things, but this is okay.

For a period of time, both girls loved watching the same shows and films. At the time, I didn’t appreciate how glorious this shared love was and how much easier it made life. 

Now I do. 

Because outside of Rainbow High, they don’t enjoy watching any of the same shows and even though they agree they love this particular one, they disagree on who is the best character. Or recently, who is the best high school – Rainbow High or Shadow High – competing in the annual musical competition, Rainbow Vision.

For Addison, it’s Shadow High all the way and Harley Limestone is the cream of the crop.

Addison relates to Harley because like her, Harley is an all-around student, loyal, and takes her position in whatever she does very seriously. She is not afraid to show her true colours and personality but is also extremely supportive of her friends and will help anyone who needs it.

When playing with the Harley Limestone doll from the Rainbow Vision Shadow High Neon Shadow collection, her personality comes out. Being able to mix and match the two outfits provided (a rock stage outfit and a backup), it also allows Addison’s creativity to shine because she can play an active part in influencing the style; and the musical instrument accessories which also come with each doll really allow her to get into the imaginative play. 

For Milla, it is Ayesha Sterling, a Rainbow Diva from Rainbow High that really speaks to her.

Image: Supplied.

Ayesha, like my youngest, is always the one to cheer anyone up and her dry, observational wit is Milla to a tee.

Plus, that extra sparkle of stardom gives some pizazz that she can have fun and be creative with, especially with the mix and match clothing and accessories – one gown and an extra very luxe second outfit and of course, a microphone and train vanity case with a hairdryer and brush (because why not?).

Despite their contrasting personalities, styles and love for different characters, they come together to have the best fun.

3. They have many different interests, and this means organisation is critical.

Our weekly schedule is always filled because Addison and Milla both enjoy doing different things which means my husband and I are forever driving, waiting and picking up all over town throughout the week.

Milla does roller-skating, Little Athletics and swimming lessons on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. Whereas Addison, like Milla does swimming twice a week, but (unlike) Milla, does acting. 

I have often said to Milla “you should join Addison in acting too, it’d be fun!”

“Nope,” she replies.

Or to Addison, “why don’t you try skating too?”

“Nah.”

And “nope”, “nah”, they don’t.

To manage this, I have a giant weekly schedule stuck onto my fridge, the monthly calendar is also filled with every commitment and event coming up and an additional digital version accessible on all our devices so there is no forgetting.

4. Their strengths lay in different areas, but they are always lifting each other up.

Probably one of the greatest lessons I have learnt from my two very different daughters is that their strengths may be very different, but this is a beautiful and constructive thing.

When one is worried or anxious, the other becomes their resilience and will charge them with confidence and reassurance.

When the other is struggling with a task, the other will sit with them and help them understand it in a way that is respectful.

This is what I love the most (plus, it’s never boring!).

Celebrate your children's differences by shopping the new Rainbow Vision Shadow High Neon Shadow and Rainbow Vision Rainbow High Rainbow Divas collections at your local toy store.

Feature Image: Supplied.