Happy Wednesday, folks.
If you’re feeling a little dreary on this hump day, let me share some cataclysmic, highly important, earth-shattering news with you all: The Bachelor‘s ultimate villain lady Keira Maguire and The Bachelorette‘s ultimate pot plant fanatic Jarrod Woodgate are getting married.
Married.
MARRIED!
Maaaaarrriiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeeeeddddd!!!!!!
Well kinda. Potentially. Not really at all, actually.
You see New Weekly, purveyor of all things factual and true, report the duo is planning to walk down the aisle pronto.
Under the headline ‘EXCLUSIVE: Jarrod Woodgate and Keira Maguire are in love and getting married’, the gossip mag explained that an “on set spy” told them Jarrod and Keira are “the real deal” after photos of their “red hot pashfest” on The Bachelor in Paradise were leaked to the media.
Juicy.
“It’s obvious their chemistry has only intensified as they spent more time with each other,” the mysterious spy/double agent/James Bond/random member of the public/Channel 10 intern said.
“Jarrod truly believed he was in love with Sophie, but after meeting Keira, his whole life has turned upside down.”
Listen: Myself and Zara McDonald discuss that heart-wrenching finale of The Bachelorette on Bach Chat. (Post continues…)
Where’s the ‘they’re getting married part?’ I hear you ask. Well, apparently the below quote indicates that the pair are ABSOLUTELY 100% DEFINITELY GETTING MARRIED AND HAVE 11 KIDS AND A PET DOG NAMED GERARD NOW.
“Keira’s always wanted a husband and kids… That’s the whole reason she signed up for the show.”
See, you guys? See?!
Can’t wait to see these two post photos of their 11 kids and golden retriever and wedding ceremony on Insta. Can’t they just hurry up already? Geez.