Oh ok, cool. So mega-rich pop stars have found shiny new ways to take all our money. Katy Perry, Justin Timberlake, Lady Gaga, Kanye West and Robbie Williams are all touring Australia this year – which is fabulous obviously.
But they’re luring us all in with promises of actual human contact, special shiny seats, bonus merchandise, warm-up parties, and early entrance so you can skip the queues.
That is, if you’re prepared to hand over all your cash.
Unfairly handsome dancing man Justin Timberlake is coming here in September and for a cool $1500, JT fans get two seats at a VIP table… but no contact whatsoever with the Bringing Sexy Back singer himself.
For the same amount – 1500 big ones – you can actually touch Lady Gaga… or more specifically, have an awkward photo taken next to her.
As part of the Gaga VIP package, you get to sit in an elevated area on-stage, and walk away with some sweet Gaga merch (a Little Monsters mug you can wear as a hat and a t-shirt made of lamb shanks, we presume).
JT and Gaga make pop star Katy Perry’s VIP deal look like a god-damn bargain in comparison.
For the bargain-basement price of $500, you get early entrance to the “reflection stage” and a dedicated VIP bathroom.
Yes, that’s right, your own Very Important Bathroom.
As for Robbie Williams (yes, he still exists, yes, he still makes music), well, you can only register your interest to be on a wait list to buy tickets for later on in the year – for a minimum of $290 each.
Kanye West tix go up to $600, which includes something called a “Stay and Play” package. With a man like Yeezus himself, who knows what that might include… But in the absence of any information, let’s speculate wildly.
For $500, you get a lock of Kanye West’s hair secured in a pure gold locket shaped like a unicorn to commemorate the time you saw KW perform.
For $600, you get to high-five a life-size cardboard cut-out of Kim Kardashian, Kanye and their baby North West.
For $700, you get to name their second child.
For $1500, you get a lifetime membership to the Church of the Latter Day Kanye West.
Here are all the celebrities touring Australia this year… Would you pay $1500 to see any of them?
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