Jennifer Aniston is the definition of a lonely woman, tabloid media would have us believe.
With two ‘failed’ marriages under her belt and no children to show for it, the accomplished actress is approaching her 50s alone, they say.
In the conversation about poor Jen, the one voice we often choose to ignore is.. poor Jen’s. Despite having spoken on a number of occasions about her relationships and why she doesn’t have children, she is still painted as the old maid who missed the boat.
In a new profile with Elle titled ‘Jennifer Aniston Doesn’t Need A Happy Ending’, the 49-year-old touched on many things, from her upcoming Netflix film Dumplin’ and relationship with Dolly Parton, to the public’s obsession with why she hasn’t procreated. Yet.
But among the deliciously long read from author Carina Chocano (I highly recommend reading the full Elle profile here), one line punched me in the gut.
When I read it, it instantly felt familiar, because I’ve tossed that line around in my head so many times before.
Speaking to her recent divorce with ex-husband Justin Theroux, Aniston said she doesn’t view the way their relationship ended as a failure – rather, a success.
“I don’t feel a void. I really don’t. My marriages, they’ve been very successful, in [my] personal opinion. And when they came to an end, it was a choice that was made because we chose to be happy, and sometimes happiness didn’t exist within that arrangement anymore,” she said.
“Sure, there were bumps, and not every moment felt fantastic, obviously, but at the end of it, this is our one life and I would not stay in a situation out of fear. Fear of being alone. Fear of not being able to survive. To stay in a marriage based on fear feels like you’re doing your one life a disservice.”
Fear of being alone. Fear of not being able to survive.
The fear of not wanting to be alone is universal.
We know we’re lonely. So much so, Relationships Australia commissioned a study into Australia’s ‘loneliness epidemic’.
Their 2017 research found one in five to one in six people reported they often felt lonely in any given year, and they have been for 16 years.
If we break down the numbers – out of three friends, one often feels lonely and like they lack companionship, and two sometimes feel the same.
We asked eHarmony CEO Grant Langston about single phobia and why so many women feel it. Post continues after video.
Circling back to the fear Aniston was talking about, it’s something both single women and women in relationships can identify with.
As can anyone who’s stayed in a relationship that wasn’t servicing them for too long because of that fear of being alone. The fear of not knowing how you’ll “survive” and what your life will look like without them, even if life with them isn’t making you happy.
Without someone to text ‘goodnight, love you’ to every single night, or having that one person you can always rely on for weekend plans when your friends are busy. Sometimes, that fear is thrust upon you unwillingly in an instant, other times, you’ll have marinated in it for months, years, even.
If you’re single, that fear can sometimes be the thing that drives you to chuck on some lippie and go on another date because who knows, this time they could be ‘the one’. It can also make you feel like utter garbage when your friends at dinner all start talking about what age they imagine themselves getting married, and how old they want to be when they become a mum.
The fear of being alone is something we’ve all felt. In my experience, only by confronting it does it quieten and what happens next is life.
As Aniston puts it, “this is our one life and I would not stay in a situation out of fear.”
Making the decision to allow yourself to be alone is scary. But it is yours. And it’s hers.
Do you agree with Jennifer Aniston’s relationship advice? Tell us about your experience with loneliness in the comments!
Top Comments
Fantastic article. I stayed in a marriage for 10 years out of fear: both of being alone and DV. My belief that marriage meant being loyal to your partner no matter the cost meant I was being disloyal to myself. Leaving was the scariest decision I have ever made. I cried every day for a full year and now, 18 months on, feel full, complete and happy. All alone (but not lonely!)