CLARE STEPHENS: 'I called it: Bennifer is over. And we all know why.'

This post was originally published on 7 September and has since been updated with new information following the news Jennifer Lopez has filed for divorce from Ben Affleck after two years of marriage, according to TMZ who was first to report the news.

It all started in May. There were reports that Ben Affleck (actor, filmmaker, owner of horrendous back tattoo) hadn't been photographed with his wife, Jennifer Lopez (actress, singer, chronically insistent that a 'joyful heart' is the reason she doesn’t age) in 47 days.

Well, look. Technically, it 'all started' 22 years ago. But we'll get to that.

Also in May, Lopez interacted with a social media post about unhealthy relationships. Rumours swirled that the two were living separately, and when Lopez was asked about her marriage at a press conference later that month, she simply replied, "you know better than that."

Then, they attended Affleck's daughter's graduation ceremony together, and things were fine.

Except things were not fine.

In June, Affleck moved his belongings out of the couple's shared home. At the end of July, Lopez turned 55, and celebrated with a Bridgerton-themed ball that frankly, it has to be said, looked like it slapped. There was a horse-drawn carriage. An orchestra. Professional dancers. Everyone was in costume. Except Ben, who apparently wasn't invited.

On Affleck's 52nd birthday, just days ago, Lopez wished her husband well posted three photos of herself wearing a see-through Dior dress.

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A post shared by Jennifer Lopez (@jlo)

It has simply never been clearer that a marriage is over, especially for a couple who like to declare their love via songs and film clips and TV interviews and a visual album and a documentary about the making of said visual album. In 2002, Affleck literally took out a full-page ad in The Hollywood Reporter to honour Lopez.

''You have shown kindness, dedication, diligence, humility, graciousness of spirit, beauty in courage, great empathy, astonishing talent, real poise and true grace," he wrote, congratulating her for winning an award for Female Star of the Year.

"It has been nothing but an honour and a pleasure to work with you. I only wish I were lucky enough to be in all your movies. With love, respect and gratitude, Ben Affleck.''

Now, there are no ads. The Instagram photos have stopped. Lopez is no longer going on tour for 'This Is Me… Now,' the album released earlier this year as a tribute to their love story.

And I think we all know why. It's a tale as old as time. In Greek mythology, they say Icarus flew too close to the sun. He was reckless. He defied his own limitations. As a result, his wings were burnt, and he fell from the sky. In 2024, the sun is content. Icarus, on the other hand, is all of us.

Video: Jennifer Lopez gives her honest opinion about Ben Affleck's back tattoo. Post continues below.

The two met while creating content. Notoriously bad content, for what it's worth. They were filming Gigli, a film described by a well-established UK critic as "every bit as atrocious as you may have heard." The director, who had previously won a Golden Globe, never made another film. That’s how terrible it was.

Lopez was married to Cris Judd at the time, but quickly, the marriage was over and she was pictured with Affleck. That same year, Affleck appeared in the music video for 'Jenny From The Block', kissing Lopez's bottom. After three months of dating, he proposed with a $1.2m engagement ring.

Later that month they started filming another movie together called Jersey Girl, and then Lopez released her album: This is Me… Then. She said her fiancé was "her life and [the] sole inspiration for every lyric".

One song on the album was called 'Dear Ben'. Here are some of the lyrics:

I love you, you're perfect

A manifestation of my dreams

You make my body feel

About a million different things

I think God made you for me

A mix of passionate fidelities

Baby, you're so complete

I write this song to let you know

That you will always be to me

My lust, my love, my man, my child, my friend, and my king

So much content, so little time.

Now. Content in and of itself is fine. Even creating content together is fine. The problem is when you become the content, and the content becomes you. Which is what happened in July 2003, about a year after Lopez and Affleck started dating.

They sat down for an NBC prime-time interview, which was essentially 41 minutes of them talking about their relationship. At least two minutes was dedicated to Affleck saying he doesn't like to do the dishes. Lopez cooked chicken throughout. It was a picture of pre-marital bliss.

Weeks later, however, a story was published that claimed that the night the interview aired, Affleck went to a strip club and had sex with not one, but two women.

Representatives for the actor denied the accusations, and another woman at the club insisted he was simply drinking water. Others said he was just "hanging out, talking to people."

In September, the couple announced they were postponing their wedding because of "excessive media attention." By early the next year, the relationship was over.

Reflecting on the heartbreak years later, Lopez said, "I think different time, different thing, who knows what could've happened, but there was a genuine love there."

Well.

Over the next two decades, Affleck marries another Jennifer (actor Jennifer Garner) and becomes a dad of three. Lopez marries singer Marc Antony and together they have a set of twins, and everyone continues to make content in their own, independent way. Because, again, content in and of itself isn't the problem. Making your marriage the content, perhaps, is.

In May 2021, Affleck and Lopez are photographed together. They're kissing in public. It's everything we've ever wanted. A symbol that true love still exists. That it's never too late. That we all need to get back with our exes.

For Valentine's Day 2022, Affleck directs and gifts Lopez a remix of her song 'On My Way'. It's full of slow motion footage of them, and clips from their movies. He makes a cameo in Lopez's music video for her song 'Marry Me' and have you two learnt nothing.

They're engaged again. They get married in Vegas and it seems low-key but it's all a trick because the real wedding, held on Affleck's 87 acre compound in Georgia and costing close to half a million Australian dollars, is FULL of content. Lopez wears three Ralph Lauren gowns. She's on a swing surrounded by chandeliers. She's adorned in more than $2m worth of diamonds and pearls. Jay Shetty officiates.

Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck's wedding. Image: Instagram @jlo.

They go to Europe on their honeymoon, and the photos are everywhere. Then, at the beginning of this year, Lopez releases This Is Me… Now. It's an album, and is just one component of a three-part project about love and healing, heavily inspired by Lopez's rekindled romance with Affleck. She also releases a musical film, This Is Me... Now: A Love Story, and a documentary about the making of the album and the film, titled The Greatest Love Story Never Told. It’s all self-funded by Lopez, and it reportedly went over its $20m budget.

I believe in my soul that the love story has been told. It was told in 2003. It was told in 2023. And there's nothing that destroys a love story more than telling it. Repeatedly. In different formats. For different mediums. For different audiences. Again and again. And again. It's too much content, and when we get too close to it, when we make too much, when we share it all, we get burnt.

In the documentary (about the film, about the album), we hear about love letters Affleck wrote to Lopez and kept during his marriage to Jennifer Garner. Lopez shared them with the crew while they were working on the three-part project. They nicknamed him Pen Affleck.

Maybe we don't need to make an album and a film and a documentary when we fall in love. Maybe we can just be in love. But the modern hunger for content — for behind-the-scenes insight and perfectly staged photos and stylised videos — pressures celebrities to turn their personal lives into a product. Something that can be consumed. But once it's consumed, where does that leave us? For Lopez, it leaves her with a now-cancelled tour about a man who, by almost all accounts, she’s no longer with.

Perhaps the commodification of Bennifer — by Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez themselves — ruined the love story. And perhaps the greatest love stories of all, remain untold.

For more from Clare Stephens you can follow her on Instagram. Listen to Cancelled, the pop culture podcast where we break down how content tore Bennifer apart. You can listen to the full episode on Cancelled now.

Feature Image: Instagram @jlo.

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