Last Sunday I attended the hen’s party (which was really more of a ‘hen’s day’) for an old friend of mine from high school. The day itself was organised by her bridal party, consisting of six bridesmaids.
It was all very well planned. We were all invited to a Facebook group for the purpose of organisation. We were given an itinerary for the day and told how much all of these activities would cost, along with a deadline for payment.
It’s safe to say it was an action-packed day and the price tag didn’t come cheap. It began in a hotel in the city for some games, from there we went to a venue by the harbour for some drinks and entertainment, then for dinner we had a harbour cruise before a night out on the town. The entire day cost more than $400.
Listen: Hen’s days could get even more expensive. (Post continues after audio.)
While I thought this was quite an overblown amount, as she was a long time friend of mine, I bit the bullet and transferred the money to the account of the bridesmaid who was making all of the plans and arrangements for my friend Samantha’s big day.
Unexpectedly, the day itself also saw further expenses. There was transport to and from, club entry, drinks etc etc. Overall the entire day took a $550 hit to my bank account. At the end of the evening I caught a cab home, my bank account looking a little worse for wear but having had a relatively good day I didn’t think about it much further beyond that.
That was until the following morning when an email landed in my inbox. The subject line read: “Invoice for outstanding funds from Samantha’s hen’s party.”
I could feel my heart beat quickening as I cocked my head to the side and clicked on the unread message.
“Hi ladies! I hope you had a GREAT day yesterday. Unfortunately after doing some calculations we’ve come up short for the funds needed to cover Samantha’s hens party. The bridal party have decided the easiest way to sort this out is to divide the amount by all of the attendees. If you could all please transfer another $150 to my account by the end of the week that would be much appreciated. I’ve attached individual invoices for your reference. Thanks and see you all at the wedding!”
I was shocked and didn’t know how to react, my main issue being that the day’s events and how much it would all cost had already been carefully tallied and accounted for. About 15 women attended the hen’s day, not including the bridal party themselves, so how was it possible that we overspent by more than $2000?
It seemed ridiculous to me and the reasoning for it, when I pressed further, was that the dinner supplied on the cruise cost more than what was expected. And the problem is, it didn’t end there.
I vaguely remembered overhearing a conversation the night before between the bridal party, chatting about how they hadn’t expected to spend so much on alcohol and didn’t know where all the drinks had gone. Of course, this is all speculation, but it made me think perhaps they had all overspent and were trying to recoup their own costs.
I can’t exactly accuse the bridesmaid organising the event of lying but I don’t feel like I should have to pay the extra funds. I’m going to see her at the wedding though and I don’t want it to be awkward.
What should I do?
READ MORE:
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- Women share their stories of when a hen’s night went way too far.
- How do I tell her I can’t afford her Hen’s Day?
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Top Comments
You’ve got 2 options. Option 1- pay the money and make sure to never attend any of this friends events again as they will likely be organised by the same women (ie: baby showers etc).
Option 2- question it. Say you are on a fixed budget and can’t really afford to send any more money. You enjoyed the day but they could’ve organised something a little more financially savvy and as they had miscalculated you are apologetic but just cannot contribute any further funds. I know I’ve been asked to hens nights in the past but I’ve declined them based on the cost. One I remember was going to a restaurant after a drinks session at an apartment in the city that the maid of honour had rented for the day. To do the apartment part, you had to contribute to that (might’ve been 50-100 dollars) and then the dinner had a set menu that was three courses (small looking serves) that was another 70 dollars (without drinks included) in the city. Afterwards there was clubbing that you had to pay for again. I just couldn’t afford it and so I couldn’t go and I couldn’t justify the drinks at apartment costing so much. I don’t know why people feel the need to spend so much on these nights/days but it’s not always affordable. Nobody seems to take this into account. $500 is purely unreasonable to begin with. Maybe they are trying to get out of all their wedding expenses by overcharging the hens night and splitting the difference. I would suggest that as the miscalculation was their error, you shouldn’t have to pay for it. And especially if it’s for drinks that you didn’t consume. How inappropriate and rude of her to even ask. Her problem, not yours
Whatever happened to the wedding costs being the responsibility of the bride & groom ?
People are so self-entitled these days that they actually believe that their wedding party & guests should shell out for actually attending the parties and wedding.
Some brides even insist that their bridesmaids pay for their own dresses !
Our daughter's wedding is still being referred to as the best & most beautiful ever.........why ?
Well I think partly because the guests weren't expected to bring presents and the bridesmaids were encouraged to wear whatever they wanted.
Admittedly this wedding was a little different because most of the guests were members of an historical & fencing re-enactment group so most of them wore their favorite medieval clothing.
Our daughter made her 14th Century-style gown, her husband hired his 18th century garb, most of us wore velvet capes & her father wore Scottish Highland gear.
The whole Winter's afternoon & evening resembled a "country fair" with a medieval smorgasbord & fairy lights & fencing displays.
The cost of the whole event was very modest and nobody who attended was out of pocket.
Looking at the photos it still seems the loveliest wedding ever.
Yes for weddings but this is about a hens night, not the same thing