"In 2019, hen's parties have become ridiculously over the top. And I'm struggling to keep up."

Once upon a time, a hen’s party consisted of a night out on the town, some penis shaped straws and a stumble home to your own bed.

Since when did that morph into extended weekends away, and why the heck do I need my passport for this trip?!

Now I understand that I sound a little bit cynical, and maybe I am. But I am also not made of money, or annual leave, and I would like to get through wedding season without going into debt. Is that…okay to admit?

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Let’s get one thing clear, I love a wedding.

I am happy to hand over a gift, fork out for some accommodation and buy a dress. I think weddings are a lovely tradition and a bloody great time.

However, when said happy couple also invite you to an engagement party and a hen’s party, and perhaps a few [entire] weekends in another city for dress shopping expeditions – my weekly grocery bill and future house deposit start to weep.

Which is why I will ask the question again, since when did hen’s party’s become full blown holidays?

Bali has become a go-to, or a house at Byron Bay, or a winery or a fancy resort. The schedule has then become a calendar of activities: yoga, flower crowns, cocktail classes, life drawing.

What happened to just picking one of said activities, adding some booze and calling it a night?

For these extravagant hen's holidays you'll usually have to fork out a lump sum for scheduled fun/themed outfits/swish digs, and there's always one overly eager bridesmaid who wants to add just one more thing to the already bulging weekend: Should we get all 18 people a $12 bridal sash? Wouldn't that be fun??

I can hear the cynics *cough people who plan/want a hen's holiday cough* now:

Don't go then.

You're lucky to have friends who invite you.

Well, you're a party pooper.

Look.

I love my friends, and I love making them smile. I want to go. But when you hit a certain age, every single one of your friends decides to get married at the exact same bloody time. 

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I hate having to be the friend that says, "I'm sorry, I can't afford to do this AND this," but at the end of the day you also have to have some budget in the bank for your own holidays and your own life events.

If a hen's party was literally that: a party, or a single night out, it would be much easier to commit to. But as soon as it turns into a three day weekend in another state, or an entire week away overseas - said hen is going to have to accept that people are going to have to let them down, and that truly sucks. If you're a people pleaser, as I am, there's nothing worse than disappointing someone.

If you are in the bridal team there is no backing out - you just have to go, despite the price tag. Which can just lead to feeling a little bit bitter towards your fellow maids and the hen thanks to the absurd amount of money you're splashing.

In 2019 it feels like we've just made everything bigger. Everything is more extravagant, and more Instagram-worthy.

Apparently it's not enough to just pick your local, raid your at-home costume box and buy a round of fancy cream-topped cocktails. I have a feeling social media can take the blame for that one.

In my opinion, when it comes to a hen's party, bigger isn't always better. In fact, I would prefer the 'bigger' to be the actual wedding, no?