This story discusses anxiety and depression and may be triggering for some readers.
To the outside world I was living a successful life in the corporate world. Based in Hong Kong, working in financial markets, professionally I was at the top of my game. I had worked my way up the corporate ladder in banking and financial markets for 16 years and now was managing a team and trading 13 markets across Asia. I thrived on the intensity and the high-pressure environment of working on a trading floor. As a female in a very male dominated industry, I had to work extra hard to be seen as anything other than a 'token female'. My value as a person was aligned with how big the trades were, how much money I made for my company and clients and how big my bonus was each year.
However, personally I was suffering. Living alone in a foreign country with no partner or children on the horizon, work became my world. Everyone I knew was connected to work - colleagues, clients or competitors. When I'd leave the office after a 12-hour day, I wasn't clocking off - the social aspect of my role would just be beginning. Wining and dining clients was a big part of my role and to be successful in my industry the 'work hard, play hard' culture needed to be adopted. But this wasn't just an hour or two of after-work drinks as many nights wouldn't finish until the early hours of the morning, sometimes going straight into the office. Backing up the next morning was tough. As one of my bosses once said to me very early in my career "out with the boys, in with the men!"
Watch: If you're struggling to cope, here are some things you can do. Post continues after video.