I’m in my 30s and have no friends.
So, there you have it.
I’ve said it out loud.
Or at least typed it.
I am a grown woman, in my 30s and I don’t have friends. I have a great job, a few kids and a husband. I have a couple of dogs, a cat, a full bookshelf and a social media presence that gives the illusion of having friends. But, I don’t think I really have any. Or at least, not many.
Friendship break ups are often harder to get over, but why don’t we talk about them as much? Post continues…
Once upon a time, I spent hours upon hours and what seemed like an endless summer with my friends, listening to music, sleep overs, shopping – all the usual teenage friendship activities. And to be fair, it’s these few people that remember my birthday without being prompted by Facebook.
Then I went to university and met a new crop of people and spent countless nights out on the town and having various misadventures as we came of age.
And then I got a serious job and made some friends I worked with and we spent hours at trendy bars debriefing about our stressful job. And then some of them moved away and I moved away and life moved on.
I had a few kids, met some ‘mum friends’ that never really stuck and then the other day, I had a bit of a crisis when I wondered what had happened to my friends.
Is it me? Or them?
Don’t get me wrong, I regularly text with a few people and we tag each other in memes at least three times a day, that’s a friendship right?
But the thing that got me really thinking was when I was changing the sheets on the spare bed after the usual musical beds that happens when you have several small children in your house. You see, I have moved away from the epicenter of the action, followed the masses into a tree change and am now a solid hour away from my friends and considerably further away from my family. But on the day in question, I couldn’t remember the last time I made up the spare bed for a friend and it made me quite sad.
Upon reflection, I know that I made the move to live further away and so I have always made more of the effort to catch up with people because I know that not everyone wants to drive to the sticks on the weekends. And when my friends have said to me ‘oh I should come and see you sometime but it’s so far’ I always brush it off with ‘oh yes, don’t worry, it’s like a holiday coming here’ and indeed it is.
But… sometimes, it would be really nice.
Top Comments
I’m 40 with no friends and my family well I have no family either. I been put on the curb by them with my 3 children. Sad my children are punished because they mine.
I resently tried with an other single mum school to be friends & because I was try and what to show my children good things can happen if a little effort is put into it. Phew sic she used me to run her around and sometimes her neighbour. After dropping my children off at school I would check if her daughter had been taken and do a second school run. On fridays I would pull our children out of school early to drive 1hr to drop her off at her boyfriends. Her mum would pick up her daugther and my so called friend was kids free for dirty weekend with her boyfriend. Yeah! The drive home seemed so long with 3 grumpy children by the time we walked through and me going to be alone. Her daughter hadn’t have friends at school. So I asked my children to be extre kind and she’ll learn to be nicer. With adult weren’t watching she would hurt my children and when my children spoke up she would throw a trauma and blame them. Each I would talk to them about the situation that had happened explain she just doesn’t know how to be a friend and would they please give her another chance. Been the super awesome children they are they keeped trying. It all came to ahead when (here’s my big mistake) I lent her boyfriend and her some money. It was weekend at start of school holidays, we had been planning activities for the holidays. Everyone was excited. On Saturday I got a email for her and my gut said she was going to ask me for money. Then the phone calls started to home and mobile. I didn’t answer them as I was busy with my children and I had told her my plans for my day (which included teching down) later that day I have at least 10 calls, a number of txts and emails. Begging me as she had broken her boyfriends credit card etc. I half attempted to return her call but I really didn’t want to lend her money. Early evening I got an email saying how rude it was of me not to have called her boyfriend to let him know if they could borrow the money. I was omg wtf. I called his house got sucked in, lent them money on the condition I get it back by the Tuesday and I didn’t want any issues getting it back. (I had just cashed in my super so I could afford car repairs and household item and she new this) we spoke on Monday she told me her plan for the day and I told her mine. Tuesday got headed out and when I got home a little later then planned I asked a call from her. She started got off at me, said I was no friend where my apologie for making her drive an hour to drop money and not be home/or at her place. I said wft, I was home a little later then planned cause had just had a big blue with my mum. She responded she didn’t care and I was told to apologies as I had stuff up her whole day. I said sorry but I told u I had plans. She said that no apologie was stet yelling at so I hang up. I was in no state to drive due to the figh with my mum so I didn’t go to her house. I waited for her. She didn’t turn up. I did receive an email either later that day or next morning saying she had given the money to her and how dare I try to hit on her man the night they picked the money up, called me a slut and she shouldn’t turned a blind eye and let me in her home As all I did was slut around. That was just the start of her abusing me.
I would rather have no friends then a friend like her. I $600 down, she spread lies about around school, my children get dirty looks and other crap from her and her daughter very day at school.
I've never had friendships that stuck. Most of not all were rather toxic. And these days, when they're more likely to desert you than stick by you, it's hardly worth the effort. I have a partner and we get by just fine. Even if I was single, being alone and happy is better than being surrounded by people and feeling fed up. But that's just me.