I couldn’t be any clearer though.
We only speak one language in our household yet to an outside observer, we appear to be bilingual. See, my children seem to hear a completely different language to the one I speak to them in.
For some inexplicable reason, their interpretations of simple, often repetitive instructions are completely different to my own. There seems to be a massive divide between what I say and what my children actually hear. Such as…
1. What I say: Get dressed for school.
What they hear: Stand around naked with one sock on watching the TV.
2. What I say: Get in the bath.
What they hear: Stand around naked with one sock on watching the TV.
3. What I say: If you eat your dinner then you’ll get a treat.
What they hear: Treat. Give it.
4. What I say: Brush your hair.
What they hear: Run your fingers through you hair and flick it a bit.
5. What I say: School holidays start in 3 weeks.
What they hear: We go on holidays tomorrow!
6.What I say: Brush your teeth.
What they hear: Put a minute amount of toothpaste on your toothbrush, loosely run it around your teeth and gums for 30 seconds and then spit.
7. What I say: No.
What they hear: Maybe.
8. What I say: We’ll see.
What they hear: Eventually, yes.
9. What I say: 30 more minutes and it’s bedtime.
What they hear: In 30 more minutes we start to drag out our bedtime with bathroom stops and a myriad of mind games.
10. What I say: I love you.
What they hear (I hope!): I love you.
How about you? What do your kids totally misinterpret?
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