couples

"He's my soul mate. But there’s a problem I hate every day that we're together..."

I’ve waited long enough and this is his final chance.

My partner and I met when I was 28, just months after my ex and I broke off our two year engagement. I’m now 35 and we’ve been going strong for the past seven years.

In my mind I’d always planned to be married fairly young and start a family early. I thought that’s what I was getting when I was engaged for the first and only time at the age of 23.

But that’s not how the cookie crumbled. I thought I was going to be alone forever, until I met my current partner.

He saved me from a time when I was at my lowest and I’m grateful every day for how my life has turned out so far. Because I truly believe with all my heart that he is my soul mate. I know he is my soul mate.

But there’s a problem in the pit of my stomach that I hate every day that we are together.

He won’t propose to me.

I so desperately want to be with this man for the rest of my life and to make that one, huge, commitment to one another. My life isn’t taking the path that I expected and I seriously need to get it back on track.

I know that he’s committed and that he loves me. I know that he wants to be with me. We’re both incredibly happy. But it’s the one thing that’s dragging me down.

"But there’s a problem in the pit of my stomach that I hate every day that we are together. He won’t propose to me."

We went on a trip to Europe last year. Nothing.

My birthday went by. Nothing.

Christmas went by. Nothing.

And I can’t wait for it any longer. So I made a pact with myself. I told myself last year that if I wasn’t engaged by the following Valentine’s Day that I would leave my partner.

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As much as I love him, I can’t deal with the shame of being 35 and unmarried. People constantly ask me, “So when are you planning to tie the knot?” They tell me, “you two have been together forever, when is it going to happen?”

I’m tired of all of the questions and I’m even more tired of waiting.

We’ve had the conversations. He just says he isn’t at a point in his life where he is ready for that yet. He tells me he loves me and wants me to be his wife one day. That he is certain of. He says he will marry me. But just not yet.

It just isn’t good enough for me. I’ve been engaged once before and I only ever want to be engaged once again. If my partner isn’t the one for me, I’m going to make sure I find the person who is. It’s what I deserve.

My biological clock is ticking and I want to be married and have a family. As heartbreaking as that is for me to say, I have no other choice. I know people will think that I’m selfish but it’s the promise I made to myself and I have to go through with it.

Right?

How important is marriage to you? How long would you stay in a relationship until your partner proposed?

If, like this reader, you have a dilemma that you would like advice about, please email [email protected] with Don’t Judge Me in the subject field. You will be contacted before publication, and your identity will be protected.

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