dating

First Date Debrief: 'A few drinks in, I knew I had to leave...'

First dates can be… nightmarish. But they can also be beautiful, and pretty much everything in between. One thing that’s certain is they almost always make good gossip. And because we love sharing, welcome to First Date Debrief.  Each week, a reader will debrief on a recent first date, breaking down the good, the bad and the ugly. This week, a 23-year-old from Sydney, NSW, who has been single for two months, tells us about a date with a 26-year-old man she met on Hinge. 

Tell us about you.

I’m 23 and I’m an executive assistant. Freshly single, but completely over my ex and with a totally whole heart that is open to love. I’ve had a few men be wary of how new I am to the single-stream (understandably), but rest assured – I would never lead anyone on and am incredibly honest about my intentions (almost too honest).

How did you meet your date?

We met on the dating app, Hinge.

What were you hoping for?

I was hoping for a spark and for comfortable, flowing conversation.

Where did you go?

We went to a bar in my neighbourhood, although it was a poor choice because it was outdoors on a 35 degree evening.

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Video via Mamamia

Talk us through how you got ready.

I actually had to have a shower when I got home because I felt hideous from the humidity (38-degree day) after being at work all day. So it was a tedious blow dry/curl/reapply makeup process, which in hindsight was not worth it, but alas, I looked cute and wore an old faithful date outfit of top/skirt/heel. The best part about first dates is that they haven’t seen any of your wardrobe before so you can dress in your most consistently-good look, the second date is the real challenge.

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How did you feel?

SWEATY. It was the hottest day (maybe ever), and I spent the entire time fanning myself with the cocktail menu, but I am rarely nervous. I’m quite a natural conversationalist so there is never too much awkwardness from my end, and they would have to try really hard to make me feel awkward.

First impressions?

Handsome, tall, well dressed – my type.

What was the chat like?

It was great, the banter was there and I was really enjoying the time together. Unfortunately, a few drinks in he started with some (not so) casually racist, sexist and homophobic commentary and I knew that I needed to leave. He was certainly not the one.

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How did the rest of the date go?

It was fine. I’m never one to make a situation awkward and I’m pretty good at diffusing any weird vibes with a new topic, but I made it clear that I didn’t find the subject matter funny or charming and that I would like to wrap things up.

Any stand-out moments, good, bad or ugly?

Aside from the above, there was quite an awkward moment when he went to cheers me but had the back of his hand toward me and I looked at him like…do you want me to clink my glass on the back of your hand? and then we fumbled and he split some martini on his quirky socks.

Did you kiss?

We didn’t, I think my cold shoulder was enough to deter that.

Who paid?

Equally split down the middle. When there is no vibe I prefer to split. No expectations for a second date and it’s also 2020 and I feel comfortable with the split.

Will you see them again?

No.

Image: Getty. 

The author of this post is known to Mamamia but has asked to remain anonymous for privacy reasons. 

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