"My son the drug addict: I loved him instead of throwing him out."

My story starts 21 years ago when I gave birth to my beautiful son Mathew. Mathew is my second child, his older sister Elise was over joyed with this live doll of her own. Mathew was born the day after Elise’s fifth birthday, so from that day on they would share birthdays. As a family we were close and happy together.

As the children grew up, we were a very normal family. My husband became a basketball coach for both the children’s teams. We had holidays like any other family with many memorable moments, many of which have been comfort to me in the last two and a half years. Things seemed to be going well. We were raising two strong, confident and intelligent people.

When I start to think about what was about to unfold, I am overwhelmed with emotion. My motherly instincts kick in. The love I have for my children is beyond even what I ever imagined it would be. My baby, my boy at 19 is a drug addict.

In March 2014 we had noticed a rapid decline in his attitude towards just about everything. We had put it down to a relationship break up, that he had taken badly.

We had suggested he seek a doctor’s advice to see a counsellor. His mental health at this stage seemed to be the issue. Mathew’s ability to project all his issues onto others at this stage was amazing, on several occasions the abuse and name calling at the doctor’s office became quite overwhelming for me as I sat and watched my son turn on me and tell the doctors I was mad. It was me who needed the mental health plan.

By June 2014 I discovered Mathew had been going to work every day to a phantom job. He even went to the extreme of putting paint on his arms to look dirty on his return at 5pm. On his arrival home one evening I told him I had spoken to his boss and he had told me that he had let him go in the March. He completely denied this; yet the next morning didn’t even leave the house.

Mathew’s life starts to fall apart very quickly. As it spiraled out of control not only had he lost his job, but his friends and himself.

More doctors’ appointments followed. Mathew had to be dragged out of the bed that he now lived in from Monday to Thursday night, almost 100% of the time. Food didn’t even seem to be a priority.

By August Mathew had managed to get a little job, or so he told us... In fact he even sent me a photo of the place he worked. It was only three days a week, but we still encouraged him as we felt three days was better than nothing.

He seemed to be doing better, I thought that he was on the road to recovery. We were hoping he was.

One evening in September at 11.30 pm, two men turned up at our doorstep asking for Mathew. They told us they were his friends and were worried about him. They wanted to come in, whether I wanted them to or not.
I was scared. My head was spinning."What did they want and why?" I wondered. We knew from that very moment that we were not dealing with mental health issues, but drug addiction. The penny had finally dropped.

Mathew's addiction to both drugs and gambling continued to spiral out of control. His part time job turned out to be dealing drugs. He was lying and stealing to maintain his life style.

We were the parents here and had no idea of what to do. We saw physiologists and counsellors but Mathew didn’t agree that he had a problem. There was nothing they could do for him as he was now 20. He had to want to be helped. Our once happy home had now become a war zone.

I no longer recognised my son. The once well-polished boy had become a thin dirty shell of a person. Some days he could barely put two words together. His constant shaking and twirling of his hair were now out in the open for us all to see. He was a multi-drug user who took ice on a daily basis and then used other drugs to get some sleep.

If I was lucky enough to sleep, it would always be with my credit cards and wallet under my pillow. All medical professionals said we need to be tough and kick him out. He needed to hit rock bottom. My husband and I both loved our son and could not just kick him to the side walk. We would do whatever it takes to get him back.

The three of us became very close as we only had each other to rely on. We had many group hugs where we all cried in fear of how we would get over this hump in the road we call life.

We decided Mathews only chance of survival was to be well away from the people who he associated with, so we got him a little job as a volunteer at an animal shelter overseas. He needed to work every day to enable his food and accommodation. This also gave him a purpose to get up every morning.

Jacqui Lambie reveals 21-year-old son is 'out-of-control' ice addict. Post continues below. 

Animals are also very soothing in times of trouble. In the first two weeks of being there he got shingles as his body was so run down. He acknowledged that this was another challenge he needed to face. Mathew had no money during this time other than the $2 a day for the bus to the shelter.

We monitored him very closely. He was there for three months. This was the hardest 3 months of his life.
Mathew returned home 28kg heavier than when he left Australia and was doing well. He was home for 4 days, during this time he didn't go anywhere without us.

We drug tested him on his arrival home and on his return overseas. We were so proud of how far he had come but we knew that it was not over yet. Mathew then left for India for 4 months where he got a job volunteering at a remote school helping others.

He flourished and became whole again. People didn’t know his story unless he wished to share it. This meant he was respected as somebody who was there to help. This gave him back the purpose and dignity that he had lost along the way.

The social stigma of drug addiction is not easy to overcome; I have a senior management position in a large company and have not been able to share my story with anybody that I work with. I feel that it would be judged rather than supported. In saying that, work also gave me a place I could go to get some normality.

Ice took away two years of not only our son’s life; but also mine and my husbands. It also broke up our family unit as our daughter no longer communicates with us on a regular basis. She and her husband have unfortunately struggled with forgiveness.

To anybody in this situation all I can say is fight for your child. Do whatever it takes, but don’t turn your back on them. With love and support they will get through. They need to feel part of something in a positive environment. They need interaction with others who lead a normal life.

This drug can be stronger than all of us, so you need to help them fight. Our reward was seeing our son turn 21 a healthy happy boy. He still faces a lot of challenges as ice doesn’t leave you without a trace.

My husband and I are so proud of how far our son has come. He has started his life again with new friends and new beginnings.