There are only three certainties in this life: death, taxes, and that Hamish Blake will try to make a birthday cake for his kids, Sonny and Rudy.
From a 'unidonkey' unicorn to a cursed Pikachu and a Slimer from Ghostbusters that still haunts me, Hamish is known for spending hours upon hours on his biannual cake creations.
Ahead of Rudy's sixth birthday, Hamish spent the night making a Lego-inspired cake. "She has requested a Lego set cake as her birthday cake but it's a set of the family," he said in an Instagram video.
If this wasn't difficult enough, Hamish, wife Zoe Foster Blake, and their two kids have just returned from a trip to Europe, with Hamish admitting he was still jetlagged.
This isn't even Hamish's first cake this year. In fact, he made a 'solvable Rubik's cube' for Sonny's ninth birthday in May.
A mere two months since the last cake disaster creation, Hamish is back doing what he does worst best. As a fan of shortcuts, the podcast host started with a pre-made cake base.
After frosting it, he got his mum to help sprinkle 100s & 1000s around the outside with varying degrees of success. "You hold it and I'll jam the sprinkles on?" he instructed.
Hamish cut out Rudy's name in icing before confidently declaring "I don't want to jinx it, but things are going not bad at this stage."
He definitely jinxed it.
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Hamish then had to calculate how many dots he'd need to cut out that would give the cake its Lego look. He enlisted the help of a friend before coming to the startling realisation that he would need to make...
256 dots.
To create a stamp with the right diameter, Hamish cut the end off a Nurofen syringe dispenser.
Hamish began stamping, but the dots ended up adding an extra two hours to his cooking time. "Guess what? 256 is f**king heaps. It's heaps," he said.
He's not wrong!
At this stage it was 1am and Hamish admitted that any hopes he had of an early finish were now fading away.
But the cake is shaping up! It looks vaguely like Lego, right!
However, just when the cake was on track, Hamish had to make the lifelike models of his family. And oh boy, this did not go as plan.
This about sums it up:
Okay, that's actually a crying filter on Hamish but it still reflects the mood in the kitchen at this point.
After shaping the family, and facing the most struggles with Zoe — who evolved into some sort of vampire in the process — the cake was eventually finished.
"They're not great but they're my best," he said, as the clock struck 4am.
I must say, the model of Zoe is uncanny!
"My wife is smoking hot in real life," Hamish tried to explain to his followers. "I tried to bring her beauty, especially her eyes, to this character — it didn't work, it's a tricky medium."
That's two cakes done and dusted for 2023, bring on the cake chaos (cakos?!) for 2024!
Feature image: Instagram/@hamishblakeshotz.
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