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"We've been blocked on social media and on the last two birthdays, using an unidentified mobile number, we've tried to just sing happy birthday over the phone, only to be hung up on as soon as she recognised my voice," explains Max*, whose 27-year-old daughter hasn't spoken to him or his wife since the beginning of the pandemic.
"Things seemed to be going well in her life - she was living in a shared house, had a job and had made the decision to transition from male to female. Meaning to say, "No matter what, you'll always be our child and we'll always love you", her mum accidentally used the words 'no matter what, you'll always be our son and we'll always love you'.
"Within two weeks, everything was shut down," he continues.
"She hasn't spoken to either of us since. We've heard that she's been diagnosed with autism since being away, but never had any similar diagnosis prior, although apparently that's our fault too."
"It's confusing and feels like a slow grief that never really allows any closure. You're robbed of the opportunity to make it right."
Family estrangement— the official name given to the silent epidemic of close family members cutting contact with one another—affects around one in 25 Australians, according to research by social worker and academic Dr Kylie Agllias, who has been studying how family estrangement manifests in different situations. Dr Karl Pillemer, who wrote the book Fault Lines: Fractured Families and How To Mend Them, estimates it may in fact be even more common than this Stateside, affecting 25 per cent of Americans at some stage of their lives.
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