Relationships Australia report that money is one of the top four causes of conflict in a relationship. Mamamia reader Carol* is keen to avoid any conflict. She writes
“Three years into my relationship, and one year into living together, my partner and I are at the stage where the “should we combine our finances” thought has come up more than once. Given that I own the apartment we live in, and he owns our car and is paying off the finance, it’s not a straightforward scenario. He earns more than I do, but not ridiculously so, and contributes to the mortgage. I pay the rates, we split all the other bills. At this stage of our relationship, and given our plans for the future, we’ve had a few chats about how we could potentially get more bang for our buck if we work as a partnership.This concept concerns my parents no end, especially as my Dad is an accountant and they’ve seen family friends lose everything in a break up. Of course, I want to protect the investment I’ve made in the apartment in the event it all goes pear shaped (which I honestly don’t believe it will) but how do you approach this without it turning into an overly dramatic Excel spreadsheet tracking every penny? At the end of the day, we’re in a loving, supportive, trusting relationship, and I want to preserve that.”
What is your experience? Do you or did you share bank accounts? home loans?
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Top Comments
Your relationship is not healthy. You and your partner should seek for a therapist to guide your relationship.
I'm in a situation situation. My partner is Defence, and I'm moving States to be with him. He's terrible with money, I manage all his finances. As such, even though I'm significantly younger then him, I'm coming to the relationship with more assets - an expensive car, an investment portfolio and some savings. He's coming in with nothing... no savings, basic car, a few thousand dollars of debt.
However.. I'm leaving my high-paying job to relocate for him - where he will be paying the rent, bills, etc. I'll be contributing, but maybe 25% of what he will be. What should I do here?