Has a friend ever confided in you? Told you about a secret that she wanted you to keep? Have you been tempted to tell because you think it is the right thing to do? Mamamia reader Jo* has. She writes:
My husband and I are good friends with another married couple. The wife of this other couple, confided in me last week that she has been sleeping with a colleague of hers in her marital home (even in the bed she shares with her husband) while her husband is at work or away. It has only been happening a couple of weeks, but she told me that it was unprotected, and frequent, despite the fact she maintains she loves her husband.I convinced her to end it, which she claims she has, however I don’t quite believe her.
To make matters worse, I know her husband quite well, and he hasn’t got a clue. She claims that she will tell him about the affair ‘in her own time’. I don’t think she will.
So my question is, should the husband find out? If she doesn’t tell him, should I tell him? Even despite the fact it was an affair that is apparently ‘over’, he could possibly (worst case scenario) be at risk of STDs. Given his wife’s actions, I feel compelled to tell her husband, even if it means losing her as a friend.
What should I do? Has anyone been in a similar situation?
Top Comments
For EVERYONE on here saying " stay out of it " I hope everyone of you gets cheated on an ALL of your friends and family know and don't tell you.
A woman I know (I have called her a friend in the past) cheated on her husband with her cousin. She told me of the infidelity (more than one time) one night while she was still married after a great many alcoholic drinks. She seemed ashamed of it but proceeded to send messages to the person she cheated with (I found out who it was some months later during another social gathering and was horribly shocked) in front of me as well as texting another man at the same time. She claims to have regrets but seems to be in denial of it being her fault and has expressed to everyone that she is the victim in this. The victims in this are her kids and what seemed to be a stable marriage. She has been single for some time now and is on dating sites and her profile on one states "I have no baggage, no dramas" which is contrary to what she has. Unfortunately I still have dealings with her on a weekly basis and I am very wary of my daughter spending time with one of her children because I worry that she is a poor role model when it comes to morals. Nobody makes someone cheat except the cheater themselves. I understand that her ex has moved on and is happy these days and that is comforting as I thought he was a very nice person.
I posted without finishing.
I didn't tell him after I found out, but it carried on for years and she wasn't shy about telling me about each meeting or acting as if she was single when we went out. She would tell me not to tell her husband about her actions when he wasn't there and it made me feel sick to watch men taking advantage of the situation especially when she was so drunk. I think she truly believed she was within her rights to act the way she did and appeared to do so without any hesitation. I wish I could cut ties with her but with our children attending the same school this year its just not possible.