This confused Stepford wife wants YOU to have more sex. For feminism.

By ROSIE WATERLAND

A ‘Christian Lifestyle Blogger’ in the US has decided to define what ‘Female Empowerment’ means in a cheeky way, by writing an ironic list that describes examples that are the complete opposite of female empowerment.

JOKE! I wish. The list is serious. She just has the concept of female empowerment ARSE BACKWARDS. And she’s using the Spice Girls motto to spread her f*cked up message.

So… Something has to be done.

Jennifer Flanders blogs at “Loving Life at Home‘ and describes herself as a “faith-walking, husband-loving, home-schooling, hymn-singing, deep-thinking, book-writing, hand-crafting, life-savoring mother of twelve.”

And that’s totally fine, if that’s your bag. But remember that this is the same woman who made some light waves on the interwebs a few weeks ago for insisting that wives need to be constantly sexing up their husbands or the devil will intervene by forcing him to take his penis elsewhere.

So in the interests of full disclosure, Flanders should probably add ‘confused feminist’ to her list as well, especially since she has influence over a pretty large following. Because if this list is what she thinks constitutes Girl Power, she be very confused. Let’s break this down, using some choice quotes from Jennifer’s latest post ‘Girl Power: Don’t Waste It’.

Flanders opens by talking about why she decided to write the ultimate Girl Power list:

“In the past half-century, women have spent so much time focused on fighting for equality and closing the perceived gender gap that much of the very real power unique to our sex has been lost: relinquished, squandered, forgotten, or ignored.”

Um… Perceived gender gap? Uh oh… Here’s the list itself:

1. “An empowered woman INSPIRES those around her.”

That sounds fair. But hold up…

“A hurricane makes a great show of brute force, but look at the destruction, devastation, and despair that follow in its wake. Gentle spring rains may never make headline news, but they pack a potency we’d do well to emulate — the power to refresh and rejuvenate, to nurture and nourish, to bring life and growth and beauty.”

So, basically, don’t be a bitch or speak your mind. That’s not what ladies do.

2. “An empowered woman INVIGORATES the opposite sex.”

Thanks for playing lesbians, but I guess you’re out.

“As the mother of eight boys (and a casual observer of their many friends), I cannot help but notice the effect feminine company has on a group of guys. When fellas know that girls are watching, they will run faster, play harder, and push themselves further than they’d ever do without such an audience.”

Because your only reason for being sexy as a woman is to help men be better at life. Especially by running faster. Obviously.

“One of the most devastating effects of the sexual revolution is that it has duped girls into believing they can use their sexual power indiscriminately, without diluting its effectiveness or damaging themselves (and others) in the process… An empowered woman doesn’t squander her sexuality… She says no to sex before marriage and yes to sex within marriage.”

Damn that sexual revolution and all the AWFUL things it did for women! What a dark period in our history.

3. “An empowered woman INCUBATES new life.”

Can’t have kids or – GASP! – don’t want kids? Way to not be empowered, girlfriend.

“Bearing children is certainly not the only thing a woman can do, but only a woman can do it. Only a woman can conceive, carry, and give birth to the next generation. This is a power that has been completely denied to men.”

Well, at least that’s an accurate statement… Oh. Wait. Here we go:

“There are many who have fought long and hard to give pregnant women the power to choose death, but the far greater power lies in our ability to choose life… An empowered woman values life. She recognizes life for the gift it is, a gift that she willingly passes on to her children, even at great personal sacrifice.”

Want to have autonomy over your body? That is SO not empowered. You suck at being a woman.

4. “An empowered woman IMPACTS future generations.”

I can’t even deal with this one so let’s just say it should be called: “If you don’t give up everything to raise children then you are nothing.”

Somebody tell that to Oprah, Helen Mirren and and Chelsea Handler.

Next?

Oh yes, my favourite:

5. “An empowered woman IMPARTS practical wisdom.”

Oh – you mean like the wisdom in this ridulous, backwards list that’s designed to take AWAY women’s power rather than give it to them? Is that the kind of wisdom you mean?

Well, I’ve got some practical wisdom for you, my friend: Women can dress how they want, have sex with who they want, say no to who they want, control their bodies the way they want, and live their lives the way THEY FUCKING WANT (woops – I’m not a lady…).

It’s the CHOICE that empowers women. Stop trying to take that away under the guise of ‘GIrl Power’. And stop using the Spice Girls way out of context.